Looking Back to Move Forward

Last year I got caught up in the madness and didn't post my resolutions until January. This year, I'm embracing the calm before the storm by reflecting on what I said I wanted to achieve in 2016, and looking ahead at what I want to achieve in 2017.

Here is my list for 2016, so let's see how I did and what I can continue into next year!
1. Get the best degree I can, keep up the hardwork 
I got a 2:1 and a 74 for my Criminology dissertation! I now need to continue in that vein and be successful with my masters. 
2. Stop procrastinating about masters and make a decision 
I made a decision! I am now a third of the way (how quickly has that gone please?!) through my master in Terrorism, Security and Policing at the University of Leicester. 
3. Organise the fun stuff too, make the most of all this time off because you'll never get it again 
This year I was able to go on three holiday to Majorca, California and Cornwall, as well as see Bruce Springsteen and the Red Hot Chili Peppers live, not to mention lots of smaller day trips to Christmas markets and even the cinema. All in all, I think I've got the fun stuff down to a tee, and next year's shaping up brilliantly as I'm spending St Patrick's weekend in Dublin, visiting my friend Caitlin in Japan, not to mention lots of little trips in the pipeline - very exciting! 
4. Make the effort with those from 2015 you want to end 2016 with too
There are still some wrinkles that need straightening out, but I've definitely done better than worse with keeping in touch with people. I still occasionally get my head stuck up my arse and go 'sh*t it's been 6 weeks since I talked to that person!' But thankfully, the important people in my life are understanding, forgiving, and do the same themselves. We're all busy living life, but we haven't forgotten each other, so even there's room for improvement, there's definitely still time and encouragement for that too. 
5. But don't feel guilty if some people have to be let go. Work out how to get on with everyone, even if there are some you can only handle for 5 mins a day, it's healthier 
I've pretty much achieved this... I certainly have lost most of the guilt about having to move on from certain situations, and I'm proud that I've done it in a way where I have no grudges, or angst, maybe a little anxiety, but ultimately I am at peace with it all. 
6. Keep an eye on your mental and physical health equally, they're both incredibly important, as 2015 showed
Eyes have definitely been firmly kept on both of these, and I've made all of my decisions with them in mind. However, it has taken me until the end of the year to step it up an effective gear when it comes to looking after myself completely. Just got to keep at it in 2017!
7. Don't stop praying, it's always works 
100% TRUTH. 
8. Stand up after a forward roll! 
Meh. Sort of. I still cross my legs when I do it, but I'm not a cheerleader any more so...
9. Once you've saved for America, don't stop saving. It's a good skill and holidays are fantastic; a car would be pretty great too 
I've saved like a beast the past year so I'm definitely going to keep that up! I've got trips, a car and a home to buy!
10. Do something for charity, or other people in general, it's not all about you...
I'm pretty sure I've given more to charity, particularly through sponsoring the fantastic efforts of friends this year than I have done during others. Need to continue doing that for sure, and perhaps get more actively involved in charities, helping others is something that we definitely all need to do more of. 

I know that 2016 for the entire globe has been pretty darn terrible, but hopefully this is rock bottom so we can only go up from here! There are still positives to be found though, as there always are, so here's to focusing on the positives, striving to eliminate the negatives and making the most of the new year we've been blessed with!  

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

My December has begun in the most festive ways possible, and I think that's why I'm feeling the most festive I've ever felt. I've never been an out and out Scrooge, but Christmas isn't my favourite time of the year at all, I much prefer bonfire night and Halloween. This year Christmas so far has definitely been enjoyable though!

Last weekend, Alex and I spent a couple of days in London. My parents bought us tickets to see England and Australia play rugby at Twickenham as our Christmas presents, so we built a weekend trip around that. As I've said before, I really dislike London, but there are times it's worth being there and last weekend was definitely one of those times.

We traveled down by train on the Friday and checked into our B&B, the Dawson House Hotel near West Hempstead tube station. It was exactly what we needed, decently sized comfy place only 10 minutes from the tube, but on Friday we decided to do the hour's walk to Hyde Park. It was a nice enough walk, seeing bits of London new to Alex and I, we stopped for dinner at the Pizza Express (their Christmas pizza was delicious!! A stuffing, pizza and pork dream!) and then we hit Oxford Road. The lights and decorations were lovely to see, but the people, as always weren't. It was just too busy and people were all over the place. But hey ho, I expect it now. From there we entered Hyde Park for Winter Wonderland.

It really was a sight to behold. There was so much going on from craft stalls, stalls of all the bad but tasty food, fun houses, hook-a-duck games, haunted houses, and the piece de resistance - the german beer tent! After battling our way through the crowds to see all that could be seen, Alex and I queued for about 15 minutes to enter the Bavarian Village. We grabbed our steins, finally found a bench to sit at and then thoroughly enjoyed the festive party atmosphere guided by a really decent and (seemingly authentic) German band. It was fantastic! Considering the Winter Wonderland is free to get into, an the steins were only a fiver, it was a surprisingly decent priced night out in London and thoroughly enjoyable!!

The next day, the Saturday, was match day!! We got £8 all day tube travel tickets and made our out to Twickenham stadium, the home of English rugby if you don't know. On the way to the stadium from the station, we got a pork and stuffing bap from a food van parked in someone's front lawn, as you do, then made our way to the humongous Guinness tent, because what else would we do?! It says a lot of positive things about rugby crowds that alcohol is allowed into the games, unlike at international football matches, and that supporters of both teams sit together rather than apart. It creates a really chill and inclusive atmosphere, and builds up the opportunities for some hilarious back and forth. 

Our seats were amazing, and during both halves much of the action happened in our corner of the try line. We also seemed to be in a particularly singy corner of the stadium, I don't think I've ever sang 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' so much, and I want to start a petition for 'Jerusalem' to be our new national anthem. To to top it all off, England won!!!! And then we had to get back to the hotel as quickly as possible because we had dinner reservations. 

The restaurant we ate dinner at was the Doubletree by Hilton at the Docklands, I found it through Wowcher as they were offering a voucher for a reduced price 3 course meal and a bottle of prosecco. The food was delicious! We were given a table right next to a window that looked out over the Thames and onto Canary Wharf which added to the experience and was totally unexpected. Afterwards, we got a boat across the Thames, then made our way through Canary Wharf, got a tube, then headed through central London for a couple of pints in a Canadian pub Alex knew of. That Saturday was pretty much us in a day, and I loved it. 

After lunch of Guinness cake in Camden market, spotting Rich Hall in St Pancras but being too scared to approach him, seeing that yet again Platform 9 3/4s was too busy for a proper photograph, and wandering around the British library, it was home time!

As if that wasn't enough Christmas for one weekend, this Wednesday Alex and I went to Birmingham to see the Nightmare Before Christmas. It was in 3D, and on for one night only. Alex isn't it's biggest fan, but I adore Tim Burton and Nightmare Before Christmas is in my top 5 favourite films, so he'll watch it with me once a year. This year was a particularly fun watching! I loved how many adults were in there, singing along like big kids, it was fab.

The festivities are still occurring as I'm about to go and meet two great friends from Keele to wander the Birmingham Christmas markets! Hope your Christmas time has started well whether you celebrate it or not!

Donald Trump. President. Hold on World.

Trump, like Brexit, doesn't surprise me but greatly disappoints me. Unlike Brexit though, I think I can understand how and why it happened. Politcal politics is dead. Now, with more adults being able to vote, we need more basic education for all and less jargon. It's been shown that Trump scored highest amongst all white demographics except for with women with degrees. People who are actually invested in understanding politics, who study it and get their information from broadsheets not tabloids and conversation from like-minded others are not the majority of voters any more and that's why Trump won. Trump appealed to the lingering pandora's box of issues America still has, just like Brexit did in the UK. He built his bucket list ambition on the fragility of the American conscience, and the even more disgusting Mike Pence justified it.

 

I feel so much pity right now, for Hillary who has done nothing but work hard for this, only to be 'Trumped' by a racist rapist; for the Americans that voted against him and had the hope from the exit polls quashed by ignorance; for every person who has ever suffered at his hands and will suffer because of his administration; and for my generation that has to say that Hitler wasn't the only one or one of few, and that their parents didn't learn as they voted in his political kin.

This must be rock bottom, with the only way being up, but we'll only get there with more open conversation, less aggressive judgement of views and balanced education on a broad scale. The quiet, insecure majority elected Trump and voted Leave, so lets listen to them and educate them so we don't see another 'leader' with Trump's ideals. There are always going to opposing political views, the freedom is something that makes countries like the UK and USA great, it's a sign of humanity that we can deal with that. However, this isn't about a mere difference of opinion, this is about inhumane ideals being promoted on the largest stage in the world. Trump wants a wall against Mexico, Pence wants therapy for homosexuals, in 2016!! Absolutely none of it is ok, but people will bury their heads and ignore those horrors for the feeling that they've 'finally been heard' on one issue or another. That's what happened here, and that's why we need to listen and converse with absolutely everyone. Understanding, peace, and education are the way forward, not hatred. Trump may have won the election, but the hate his ideals represent doesn't need to be at the forefront of our societies.

It's comforting I think that Michelle and Barack Obama have both said she wouldn't run for POTUS because she couldn't handle the red tape and she believes she can do more from outside the White House, this is her perfect opportunity surely? I'm with her. I'm with everyone who's willing to do what they can to ensure that the world as a whole can still move forward as positively as possible.

Election Day 2016

I fricking LOVE voting. It's one of the best responsibilities a human can be given, and I wish every adult on the planet had it. People have died, and still do die, for the right to do it. Every vote not used, in my opinion, is disrespectful to those who have suffered through intense and violent campaigns for the vote. However, that doesn't mean I think voting is an easy process, and deciding who/what to vote for is definitely a massively difficult decision for a person to make that needs to be well-considered.

In June 2016, as a Brit, I voted against Brexit, and that was an incredibly tempestuous election that we're still muddling through the ramifications of now. The most recent development is that the High Court has ruled that the whole of Parliament, not just the government (ie the Prime Minister and the cabinet), must vote on Brexit before the Prime Minister engages Article 50. Chances are, Remain will win the Parliament vote again, as it did during the countrywide referendum. To make things even more promising (for remain supporters) and ironic, the government can pass the case on to the Supreme Court, but if they rule the same as the High Court, the government's only other option to avoid a parliamentary vote is to take the case to the European Court. Lol. God has a sense of humour, and hopefully Brexit is thoroughly stalled. We shall see...

While Britain, is quite clearly rather all over the place at the moment, there is a silver lining in that a decision needs to be made a.s.a.p. and a plan set out. Once that is done, the plan could be horrific, but at least we'll know very soon, and we can start throwing pins at a globe to decide where to emigrate to. I'm really not kidding. America however, does not quite have that 'luxury'. Whatever they decide tonight is going to affect their country for the next four years, but most probably far longer than that.

If Donald Trump is elected then there'll be four years of racism, misogyny, idiocy, hypocrisy and elitism at the very least.

Not at all appealing right? Well apparently he is to some people. I said it about those who voted to leave the EU, and I'll say it now about Trump voters; I don't understand how they've reached that decision, I can't. As I get older and make a concerted effort to become a mature adult/all round kind person, I really do my best to at least understand where someone I disagree with is coming from, but in this instance I simply cannot. This isn't even a case of voting for him out of loyalty to the Republican party as the likes of former-President George W. Bush have come out against Trump. His own daughter Ivanka, has quietened her support in case it affects her company. This man, is not the one you want America.

So therefore, is Hillary the woman you want? Is she going to be such a good President, not just 'better than Trump'? Will any negative ramifications from her administration end far more quickly than those that will inevitably come after Trump's? There are ramifications from her time in other roles still being felt. I personally am a Hillary fan and have been for many years, but I feel like in this election someone will shout at you for being a fan of anyone.

To me, having grown up wanting female leaders to look up to and only having the likes of Margaret Thatcher on offer at home, Hillary Clinton has been an option, the preferred choice. I admire her unwillingness to give up on her ambition, despite knock-backs (I do think Obama should have beaten her, and Bernie but America's too right wing for him), including not being a 'natural politician', something she's admitted to herself. I think not being a natural politician has been her greatest downfall, because it's meant that she doesn't know how badly certain things such as the server she puts her emails on, and the quickness she changes her stance on topics can affect the public perception of her. However, as much as I think a passionate person with strong morals is necessary for a leadership role, I don't think someone who will change there stance depending on the majority's opinion is that bad in a country as diverse as America. I think as well that all of her work for women's rights proves that she's can adapt to the majority without forgetting the marginalised. I'm not going to talk about her husband and the cheating scandal because it is literally not mine or anybody else's business. Her work hasn't been affected by it, so your opinion of her as a professional should not be.

I'm not saying Hillary is the perfect Presidential candidate, she isn't, but I do think she should the preferred choice over Trump, and not just because he's so horrendously terrible. Ultimately, I don't envy the choice Americans have had to make, but I really do hope that they made one.

The whole world's watching America, and it's scared. Please do the right thing. The times they are a-changing, and that can be exciting and positive, and I hope to goodness it is this time. It's not about making America 'great again', it's about embracing its status as the UNITED STATES of America, a country that is a part of the UNITED Nations, a part of the world.

B.A.E. is not O.K.

B.A.E., three little letters that, to me, have the most irritating meaning; Before Anything Else. Now, I wholeheartedly appreciate it's use as a casual term of endearment, like 'babe', or like 'BFF'. I mean, how many people have you ever called 'BFF' and they're not around any more? Apologies for the cynicism, but that probably happens more than the forevers do. That's all said, taken and meant positively at the time and I'm not about to argue against positivity, or people strongly, openly, and deeply connected to food.
---> Preaching to the choir.










Nope, my gripe with B.A.E. is it's implication that a thing or person exists that comes before literally anything else, and under any circumstance. I have one example of something being 'B.A.E.' that is positive, but I'll save that till the end.

Let's kick off with a very topical and extremely negative example; Donald Trump. He's running for President of the United States, and you could argue that his policies hold the American people up as 'B.A.E.'s, they're his priority and more important than anything else. Not a bad approach for the American President to undertake right? In theory, perhaps not. In practice though it is horrendous. He's having the Mexicans build a wall, specific and derogatory laws against Muslims, nothing but disrespect and abuse for women, and absolutely zero ideas about how to reduce the racial tensions erupting across America right now. P.O.T.U.S. is one of, if not the, most powerful person on the planet. They don't get a B.A.E. in my opinion, they get the responsibility of creating strategies to deal with highly complex matters. Matters that need to be dealt with most probably through prioritising, but priorities must be decided upon within the specific situation, not beforehand.

Number 2 of probably a hundred, but only 3 in this post; I don't agree with referring to a partner as B.A.E. I don't believe they should categorically come before anything else. I mean, yeah they should most definitely be important to you, and, for example, spending their birthday with them and not your friends is definitely the ideal, but it goes back to my previous point of nothing being definite enough to concretely say 'this person comes before anything else'. For example, in my first year at Keele Alex suffered a really bad injury during a rugby game. It was the same day as my Christmas meal with cheer, but I didn't go to that in preference of looking after him and getting him home safely. I didn't do that because he's 'B.A.E.', I did that because a person very important to me was really hurt and being there for him was where I wanted to be more than eating food. However, had he and I had plans that for a meal and one of my cheer friends had been hurt in training, chances are I'd have cancelled on him and stayed with them. I know he'd do the same. It's about taking situations as they come.

Now, if you've read my blog before and noticed how much I do like to emphasise self love and looking after yourself, particularly with regards to mental health, you might be surprised that I think making yourself B.A.E. is also a negative, not the one positive. I wholeheartedly espouse the fact that if you are unhealthy and unhappy you're not going to of much use to the life you deserve or anybody in it. Therefore, if some people or places in it are making you unhealthy and unhappy then by all means leave them, even if it calls initial upset, it will be better in the long run. However, again, it is all about the situation you find yourself in. If you let yourself irrefutably be B.A.E., then you run the very dangerous risk of becoming self-absorbed and that isn't good for anyone. I think this is a difficult one, and definitely the one I struggle with the most personally. As I get older and more mature I look back and notice how many mistakes I made because I didn't want to be self-absorbed, but then I forgot to look after myself, then I looked after myself too much and it's one big messy ball of emotions and efforts. This is all about balance I feel, being able to switch off from the world to have time to yourself, but also dragging yourself out of bed to celebrate a friend's promotion or something even if you've just been sacked from your own job.You don't owe anyone anything, but you owe it to yourself to not push people away and end up lonely, old, with nothing but regrets. This is all starting to go round in circles that remind me of when Phoebe challenges Joey to do a completely selfless act on Friends...moving on...

For me, the only thing I know most definitely comes before anything else in my life is my faith, but to me that is my way of life which is probably why I don't feel guilty about it, or that it's negative. I pray every single day, through the good times and the bad, saying thank you, please and sorry whenever necessary. My faith guides my life in many different ways, there are things that I have and haven't done purely because I feel God doesn't want that for me. I know that faith isn't for everyone, but maybe their way of life is 'B.A.E.' for everyone, after all it's life that forces us to reveal who or what 'B.A.E.' is every time it flings us into a new situation. Maybe if we all did put living Before Anything Else violence would be less of an answer. Maybe...

When Your Head's Torn in Two, and Your Heart Doesn't Know What to do

The end of this week has been an odd one. Everything I spoke about two weeks ago in terms of Leicester, are still absolutely brilliant! I've really started to settle into a routine here, and the people around me are fantastic.

I had two night shifts in work this week, Thursday and Friday night. I use the term night shift lightly as they were only five hours long, but being from 11pm until 4am my sleep schedule mucked up completely and I think have disrupted my dealing with some news I got on Thursday. It's family news, and the only way I can fully explain it is rather deeply and personally. Despite the fact I've just had a lovely pub night distracting myself but still feel a need to get this all out, I don't want to be overly deep and personal on here, or right now. However, if you know me and wish to ask privately, then fair play.

The news has really rather affected me. My head is equally fine and quite a bit not fine, I'm stuck in a very confused and emotional limbo. Most I've spoken to have been very helpful and understanding which I can't be more grateful for. I find it really difficult to reach out to people, and as silly as it may sound, I have to work myself up a lot to message someone first, especially if we haven't spoken in longer than a week or so. Thankfully, I've managed to speak up a bit now and what has come from that has been really supportive and beneficial so I'm very grateful to those people right now. Knowing that speaking out was the right thing to do was definitely something I learned during my counselling, so I'm really comforted to have it reinforced that something that was quite difficult to go through at time was most definitely worth it.

I also learned during counselling that due to how I grew up I react to things in two ways that are quite opposite, but I do it simultaneously. It's not linked to bipolar, but rather they're learned behaviours, so I can be quite severe and extreme in a reaction whilst also being level-headed and calm. This information has really come back to me at the moment because I literally feel split in two emotionally, but I'm being patient with myself and now know how to take care of myself mentally, at least much more than I ever used to know. For example, as much as I've encouraged myself to reach out to some, I haven't reached out to everyone possible because that's too overwhelming for my right now. That doesn't mean I'm against talking to others or I handpicked certain people so everyone else should be offended, that's just how things have happened in a way I can deal with them.

It's always an added bonus when Pinterest throws up quotes that support what you're trying to do for yourself. I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned as I've reached adulthood is that patience is not the same as wasting time. I concern myself with so many things that I want to see, do, be, and I forget how beautifully simplistic and necessary it is to stop and smell the roses. This is particularly a factor when things go badly for a while, because I want to rush away from the badness I forget that even among the most damaging of thorns can be the most stunning rose.

(It's even better when a Harry Potter quote supports your efforts and thinking.)

First Week in Leicester

As of around 3pm tomorrow afternoon, I will have been in Leicester a whole week! It's gone incredibly quickly, but then again time does fly when you're having fun and I've had a lot of fun this week.

When I moved in on Saturday I quickly met one of my flatmates, Jazmin. She's also 22 and doing a criminology based masters which means we have two modules together this year. However, she's from Idaho! This meant we bonded quickly over the study abroad experience. She loves Harry Potter, and is one of the most liberal Americans I've ever met so she hates Trump; we're definitely getting along just fine. After my parents left, Jazmin and I went to our student accommodation talk, it was pretty standard stuff, but we got a little tour of campus on the way which was very useful.

Leicester's campus isn't that big at all, though I know my opinion is hampered by having come from Keele which is the largest campus in Europe. Like Keele, Leicester is currently redeveloping sections of it's campus, and has a mixture of modern, lovely old, and slightly more age-worn buildings.

I am yet to struggle to find somewhere here, and really appreciate that as it's helped me feel relaxed really quickly. Also, it is only a five/ten minute walk from my accommodation, Opal Court, which is going to make those 9ams that bit easier.

My other flatmates are all 26 and come from China, Taiwan and Mexico - all far more interesting and exotic than me! They all seem to pretty much do their own thing and aren't on courses like Jazmin and mine's, but they're also very lovely and smiley whenever I see them in the corridor or kitchen. I think it's going to be a really chill place to live, which is exactly what I wanted and ideal for a masters year methinks. I'm also really up for learning about other cultures, and can't wait to hear what my accent turns into.

From 9am until 4pm, then 9am until 7pm on Tuesday and Wednesday respectively, we had induction days for our courses. Tuesday delivered us a lot of information so Jazmin, and two other people on our course, Charlie (the only other English friend I have thus far) and Lisa (from the Netherlands), treated ourselves to two lots of free pizza.

It was such a good decision and we thoroughly deserved it. Tuesday night was an early night, because we're old people now, and Charlie and Jazmin and I had a rather elongated pub night on Sunday. It was very fun! But I struggled a bit through my ten hour street team shift on Monday so still needed all of the sleep.

On Wednesday, we made another friend called Bri who is from Washington state. She, like Jazmin, is also really liberal so I have had some hope in America restored, and we've all enjoyed bemoaning Trump's existence. I'm finding it rather odd that all of my friends, bar Charlie, are international. It's really interesting, and means there's always some sort of conversation going which is great, but lots of the welcome events are for freshers or internationals, so sometimes Charlie and I just have to entertain ourselves. That's completely fine, he and I get on really well, and the city centre is about 10 minutes walk away so there's always somewhere to be, but it's very different to how I started Keele. That seems like a really silly and obvious thing to say, because duhhh Keele was a very different place and time in my life, but hey ho, I can't help but make the comparison.

I'm not going to say one experience is better than the other, because that just seems ineffective and unnecessary. They're different experiences so I'm just being patient with myself, noticing what I notice, feeling what I feel, and embracing every opportunity I'm given.

Even though this week has flown by in happiness, 7 days really isn't a long time, it's going to take a couple more weeks to properly settle in. I have my place in Leicester, in this world, I just need to sit back, relax and see where that it. And relaxing begins, with going to see Alex today and staying with him until tomorrow evening! I'm really excited to settle into my 'new normal', with new friends, in a new place, studying a new course, with a new job, but still with time for all those I already know and care for. Onwards and upwards!

Late Night Thinking of Leicester

Tomorrow I travel to Leicester for the day for an interview for a part job at the O2 Academy there, and then on Saturday I will move there to officially begin my masters in Terrorism, Security and Policing. It's all coming around quite quickly now, and I'm still rather chill yet excited about the whole thing.

HOWEVER, (there's always an however isn't there?)

I'm now starting to panic and get all nervous. As I plan packing and organise weekends I'll next be around to see people during, the next stage of reality is beginning to hit, and I'm noticing all of the uncertainty in the things that I had been focusing on to relax me. As I will now explain in the hope that I'm not the only one, and also, as I've said before I find writing like this quite cathartic. I'm fully aware that a lot of what I'm feeling is a bit over dramatic, so I've added in sense to each point despite not feeling very sensible right now.

It's certain that I'm going to be in Leicester for the next year studying a Masters. That's about the only certainty I have, though in this state I'm also starting to think what if it all goes over my head and I fail? And what if I do fail? My dream job doesn't even require an undergraduate degree, never mind a masters. The most important thing is that I try my damn hardest, and I definitely will. Also, considering I have a 2:1 undergrad, it's highly unlikely I'll fail completely. 

It's certain I'll make friends, 'everyone makes friends at uni'. Is it though? I've found two of my four flatmates-to-be and they're both second year boys, so they'll probably have their own friends to go about and do freshers' week with. That means I foresee a very lonely weekend ahead of me. However, I still have two other flatmates to meet, and they could be my age without friends in Leicester so are therefore ready to befriend me. Also, it's unfair to write off the two guys I've come across, they could be really welcoming and up for letting me go on nights out throughout the week with them. Most importantly, I long ago made the informed decision not to buy a freshers events band as I am a bit old for that now so only really fancy a few nights of dancing, and more nights of pubbing and chatting. My coursemates are likely to be on this path too, so I should be able to buddy up with them. 

It's certain I have friends outside of Leicester university that I can keep in touch who will fill any friend void. Do I though?! This gets me the most I think, because how I know how busy I let myself get and how I let weeks just run away with me and BOOM, I haven't spoken to one person or another for a month. What if everyone gets sick of me saying 'sorry it's been a few weeks, how are you?' and ditches me. For whatever reason I can't shake this feeling, but seriously I keep repeatedly getting proven wrong about this. I'm not the only busy person in the world, all of those close to me are off doing amazing things constantly, and we're still close. This bit really will be ok. 

I think the stylising and point of all this is perfectly summed up by this quote I found today, 

Troubles, worries, negative feelings can and should be recognised enough to be written down, but write them down and know that they aren't going to last. To paraphrase wise old Albus Dumbledore, 'It does not do well to dwell on [negativity] and forget to live'. Personally, I'm a fixer so even if the worst happens and I don't get either job I want in Leicester, my course is horrendously difficult, I can't make new friends, and I lose old relationships, I'll make the best of it. Even if the best is that I finally lose those last 10 pounds cos I'm stuck in the gym outside of lectures, and that I save enough money to travel next summer for a bit because I spend so little on going out as I have no friends for a social life then so be it. Ultimately, I'm a young woman who's alive and receiving an education, in terms of the world, I'm one of the very blessed few.

Let's do this!
  

Staycation; Stay Cornwall

Settling down to catch up on The Great British Bake Off (Yay! It's back!) means I can write all about the lovely time in Cornwall I had last week. Along with Alex and his parents we had our first holiday as a foursome in the lovely coastal town of Mevagissey in the southern part of Cornwall.

As it was our first one I was nervous that it was going to be a bit stressful and intense, but thankfully I was wrong! Despite having a 7 hour drive there, and an 8 hour one back because traffic is a nightmare and Cornwall is rather a long way away, I came away feeling entirely relaxed. I think it says many a good thing about a holiday that, even though it was book-ended by spending far too long in queues and trying to find ways to avoid the motorways, I still left feeling rather chilled. At first I couldn't quite put my finger on why this was the case, I wanted to figure it out so I can replicate it, but now I've decided it's because I knew what to expect and that's the beauty of a 'staycation'.

When abroad I struggle to completely and utterly relax because I have a great sense of 'I may never come back - must do EVERYTHING', and things don't fully work how I'm used to which can always scupper plans. However, I know how England functions, and there's a relaxing comfort to that simplicity. Also, though Cornwall is a long drive away, it being in England means I don't have the fear of never being able to do things that we may have missed so I'm far more content with a calm schedule.

The full days we had were spent visiting the Eden Project, Mevagissey's museums, the Lost Gardens of Helligan, Tintagel, Padstow, Truro and Falmouth. I would advise anyone going to Cornwall to visit all of the same places, they each had their own entertainment and charm.

The Eden Project is a place I visited the only other time I've been to Cornwall many a year ago, and if I lived closer to it I'd go regularly. When we were there the weather wasn't that great, but the mixture of indoor and outdoor areas at the Eden Project made sure that high winds and a spot of rain didn't negatively impact the day at all. We all had a lovely afternoon meandering through a fake Mediterranean forest, then a fake rainforest before finding a friendly bumble then heading home!

In keeping with the garden theme, we also visited the Lost Gardens of Helligan which were only a 5 minute drive away. The Gardens are essentially the grounds of a Victorian country house that was neglected for many a year before being rediscovered. The house has now been split into flats and sold off so can't be seen, but that doesn't matter really, the gardens are lovely and vast enough to take up a good portion of a free afternoon.

Another 'lost house' we visited was the ruins of the castle of Tintagel, the supposed home of King Arthur. Alex's dad was ready to tell me King Arthur wasn't real, but I point blank refuse to accept it and adored picking out which nearby cave would have been Merlin's magic home. I grew up on Disney, it's perfectly allowed. The ruins themselves weren't overly spectacular I'll be honest, but the views were stunning.

After history and naturing ourselves out, it was time for city visits. We went to Truro and Falmouth, pretty standard cities with all you'd expect such as cathedrals and museums. Both are definitely worth a visit for a potter. Padstow is also worth it for a stop off, there is very little there, but there is the National Lobster Hatchery! I adopted a lobster and named it Livin' La Vida Lobster. Obvs.

Now to prepare for the next adventure - my masters in Leicester!

Well I Guess This is Growing Up

I've been trying to formally construct this post since last night, but it hasn't happened yet and I think it might be too much of a struggle to. Therefore, please bear with this stream of consciousness as I try to make sense of all of the things and ultimately have a point.

In case you missed it, the Olympics are currently occurring in Rio! Not just because I'm a fan of sport, I really rather enjoy the Olympics. I think they're a great set of events that can teach you a lot about different disciplines, make you wish you had made more of an effort in P.E., and really bring together so much of the world. It seems to me that there have been two main focuses of these particular Olympics; controversies such as doping, and love. The latter has been particularly shown through there having been at least five engagements that have taken place at these games. In a world so full of hate, angst and separation such a focus on love is of course welcome, appreciated, and rather lovely.

Having said this, the focus upon the engagement between phenomenal athletes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny got to me last night, and rather irritated me. I agree that mentioning it and suggesting that they're now the most successful Olympic couple EVER is a lovely point to state, and is damn fantastic. However, I felt last night that their relationship was as much a focus as Laura and Jason's individual skills as the phenomenal athletes they are, and that just didn't sit right with me. There's a time and a place for everything, I feel the amount their relationship was gone on about was too much for during a night of competition. They have a wedding day coming up, could it not be saved until then? I even said to myself, if they get divorced are their medals going to be taken away from them? No! Then why are we asking cycling experts about how worried Laura's going to be about Jason's fault starts, and not explaining to those watching at home the ins and outs of why the start was declared faulty in the first place?

It then struck me that my reaction to this was actually a projection of my own feelings. I'm a bit all over the place at the moment, even more than usual if you can believe it. Having just earned my degree I'm very much aware that the world is my oyster, I'm on the cusp of forever, and that is all very exciting. However, it's also absolutely terrifying and intimidating. I look back on my time at Keele and I see how much I've grown, but then I also see myself still making mistakes and needing to mature. Due to that, I think I've become very protective over what I've achieved and outright done well in an attempt to compensate for still making mistakes. For example, my degree is mine. I 110% accept and appreciate the help and support I received from friends, family, faculty and faith, but that certificate has my name on it because I achieved it, and the thought of that being taken away from me or being overshadowed by a relationship is rather scary right now. This is probably because I'm still too young and immature to be fully secure in my independence whilst being attached, but I'll learn I'm sure, I want to.

I said at the beginning I hoped I'd manage to make a point with this stream of consciousness, and to be honest I'm struggling with concluding this post. Perhaps that's the point though, this is all part of growing up and that is a continuous process that can't concluded really. I'm 22 years old and still very much trying to figure it all out and establish my own identity, which means of course mistakes are going to be made and insecurities had, but that's ok. I think I just need to chill out and have some patience, which is something I'm telling myself constantly. I feel I've definitely progressed from my time at Keele with a solid team from there and continued from home that seems to be willing to be there with me while we all figure it all out together, and that's fantastic, I could not be more grateful. And despite taking issue with when it seems individuals have been swallowed by their team, it is definitely better to have a team that not.

Thanks for making it through this post, it's much appreciated. I hope it made some sort of sense.

Californiaaaa, There I We-eee-ent

I got back home on Thursday morning, but jet lag is still in full on disorienting, being a bitch mode. Grrrr. I think though that this is the perfect time to write about the wonderful two weeks Alex and I had in California to remind me that the jet lag is totally worth it!

As I mentioned, Comic Con tickets didn't happen for us, but this merely altered our holiday as opposed to ruin it. We flew from Manchester to San Diego, with a stop over in New York, then visited Las Vegas, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Yosemtie and then flew home via New York from San Francisco. I'm going to detail it all place by place and try to keep it as concise as possible, but bear with me please! There's a lot to talk about.

We arrived in San Diego at pretty much bed time, so it wasn't until the next day we got any kind of sense of the place. Our hotel, the Wyndham Bayside, was in the perfect location. We woke up, walked out of our hotel and were literally right on San Diego Bay. The place was stunning.

This picture was taken from the deck of the USS Midway which was about 7 minutes walk away from our hotel. The Midway is an aircraft carrier that was used against the Japanese in the battles in the Pacific during the Second World War. Now, Alex and I are both history fans and like to nerd out on holiday, but I'm more taken with 'people' history, whilst he's into weapons and strategies etc. This was evident in the fact that while we watched a film about a particular battle in the war that saw one group lose all of it's members bar one, Alex managed to admit it was incredibly sad but focused on the strategy and facts, while I cried that so many people died. War is a terrible thing, but it was wonderful that in a park, view-able from the deck, is a statue of the famous nurse and sailor kiss, reminding all around of love. It was from that statue that we walked along the bay, passed the convention centre that was hosting Comic Con (there were almost more tears), through the lively, cultured Gaslamp Quarter to the Hard Rock Cafe for some lunch. We then pottered through a nearby mall and I bought some trainers - a must do thing as American branded trainers are super cheap compared to English one, same with Levi jeans but more on that later. Unfortunately, we then found out we didn't have enough time before our flight to travel round the bay to the sea lion island, so we went back to our hotel only to discover Southwest airlines were having issues with their systems and our flight to Las Vegas was cancelled.

4 hours later than expected, after being put on standby for a later flight than we were initially booked onto, we arrived in Vegas! And let me tell you, bright lights city set my soul on fire.

I was utterly surprised by how much I liked Vegas. I mean, it's tacky as tacky can be, it's too hot (44 degrees minimum during the day) to really go anywhere without walking through air-conditioned hotels and casinos, and it's pretty expensive. However, I think the fact that it is the original tacky is probably why I just got on with it and enjoyed. The place is outrageous, and it owns that fact, so you may as well just enjoy it. A personal highlight, and a bit of a dream come true was seeing the Blue Man Group live - incredibly entertaining! We also went to a gun range because, as the Olympics is proving, shooting can be a sport, a skill, merely hitting a target, like archery or boules, it doesn't have to hurt people. Just saying.

After three wonderful nights at the marvelous Mirage hotel, it was time for Los Angeles. As expected, L.A. for me was a soulless sh*thole. It really didn't appeal to me as a place so much so that it is now my least favourite place ever and London has been bumped up to second least favourite. Everything there is rather spread out, and it's difficult to get your bearings and feel completely comfortable. It all felt rather bland and pretentious, not for me I'm afraid. Having said that, I'm glad I went and saw the landmarks, another box ticked off the list of things to see. I did quite like the walk of fame, and feel you can tell a lot about a person by which stars they take pictures of - I took many a picture to be fair, here's one of my favourites.

Dick Wolf is the creator of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit which stars Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson who is to adult Laura what Gina Gold was to young Laura; goals. I didn't realise he had a star on the walk of fame so it was a pleasant surprise, and the whole road, though heavily congested is a definite must-see. My other must-see of L.A. is Warner Brothers studios. This gem was in the downstairs of the building that had Harry Potter items upstairs a.k.a. heaven.

I'm Batman('s ancestor).
The tour was fantastically run, and even is you aren't a fan of Warner Bros. films or T.V. shows, it would entertain most.

Our next stop was our first visit to San Francisco. We stayed near the Port of San Francisco and had this beautiful view of the Bay Bridge within 5 minutes walk from our hotel, the Harbor Court hotel.

During this first visit we used City Sightseeing tour buses to see as much of the beautiful individual of a city as possible, as we have used in many other places with great success, and we used in Los Angeles on this trip. Unfortunately, it seems that Big Bus are the more effective tour operators in San Francisco as they had more buses meaning less waiting times at stops. It didn't affect our trip too negatively, but forewarned is forearmed as they say.


From San Francisco we drove to the stunningly impressive Yosemite National Park. I say we, Alex drove as they add on very expensive insurance to hire cars for every driver under the age of 25, and as he is a more experienced and confident driver than myself, it made sense. We stayed for one night in the Yosemite Lodge which is just outside of the park. I would advise staying there or staying within the park, every other option is some distance away, including gas stations so top up your tank before you hit the park. Then you won't have to pay extortionate amounts, or worry about running out whilst you're absorbed by the incredible views Yosemite provides.

You could look in any direction whatsoever and have your eyes widen in awe. The whole place is beautiful, a really scared area of unspoiled nature.

Two days and one night in serenity later and it was back to San Francisco. Whilst there we were disappointed with the fact that tickets to visit Alcatraz prison island sell out at least a month before the date, so we had no chance of getting any. Instead, we had relaxing days visiting the original Levi factory and store, then buying discounted Levis, exploring Fisherman's Wharf where our Zephyr Hotel was located, and visiting other hubs of San Fran; Union Square and China Town. During our first trip to the city we had a delicious dinner at a great Chinese I'm infuriated I can't remember the name of...I'll fill it in as soon as it comes back to me. We also tackled the infamous fog to travel the Golden Gate bridge.

It was completely worth it, and the difference on the other side was spectacular.

 There is also an adorable little place called Sausilito on the other side of the bridge. It had a very European feel to it, and even more stunning views from its shoreline.

I'd say, though I feel I'm not a California girl, for the views alone San Francisco and Yosemite are worth a revisit. I also am still desperate to go to Comic Con, so San Diego I will return, and I will visit the sea lions! Whilst over that way I may drop by Las Vegas for some fun, or tag it on to a Grand Canyon trip which we didn't manage this time as it takes up a full day and we were only there for 3 days, each filled with plans. L.A. however...it's not me, it's you, I don't think we'll be meeting again...

Ultimately, I am very grateful for the time I had away, I fully appreciate I'm a very blessed young person to have seen so many sights and had so many experiences. Until the next one!

Laura Frances McCann B.A. Hons, Pleased to Meet You

It's official; I am a graduate of Keele University!

I achieved a 2:1 overall, and am particularly proud that my Criminology dissertation was given a mark of 74. Who knew writing about superheros could be looked on so favourably? I think that shows that my choice to do a Criminology based Masters entitled 'Terrorism, Security and Policing' at the University of Leicester next year is good one.

I am not leaving Keele because my three years there have been terrible and I need to get away, quite the opposite in fact. My three years there have been so fantastic that I don't want to tarnish them with a very different fourth that will be far more intense academically, and will see the campus relatively empty of the people I've grown with since 2013. It's also really exciting to me to go off to another place and just see what happens, I mean, why not? I have no physical ties to anywhere so I'm really up for gypsying about for a bit. Also, the course is a dream for me, I can't wait to get that bit more serious and involved with pursuing my wanted career.

Graduation week last week was such a wonderful time with those that I've been close to at Keele. I hope I managed to express to them just how grateful I am for them all, and how proud I am for doing as well as they have done. It's insane how much has happened in these past three years, beyond earning a degree, and that this chapter of my life is now closed. I've moved out of my parents' house; learned to cook (ish...but seriously my Jack Daniels barbecued pork is gooood); established and moved on from relationships; shared a bathroom with 12 others despite having had my own bathroom for 10 years (only child perks); lived in another country for 4 months; become a cheerleader; found my first proper boyfriend and convinced him to stick around; managed to sustain long distance friendships; learned to save money and plan for the future; started this blog; recognised and saught help when dealing with mental illness; matured; calmed down; learned new things about myself; learned how to cope with people very different to me; changed my relationship with food; danced until dawn; created memories I will treasure for as long as possible. That still probably isn't everything. I feel incredibly blessed, and am eternally grateful that all of these things have happened, but it's time to move on. I can't wait for the future, to see who's paths continue to cross with mine, to see everyone achieve and continue to grow into fully fledged adults. It's all so exciting!

Cala D'Or, I Adore

Last weekend, well technically last Thursday to Monday, I went on the long-awaited holiday to Majorca with some great friends from cheer. After all the stress of planning, a wonderfully relaxing time was had!

It was a holiday of firsts and greats. It was the first holiday I've been on where I haven't gone sight-seeing per se. Usually, I'm up and about most days investigating the new place, looking up an historical sight, and checking out a museum or two. This time however, we spent everyday round the pool, or on the beach, and every night wandering the busy centre looking for new restaurants and bars (Buddha bar, and the tiki bars are must visits) - we succeeded! We ate somewhere new every meal, and 95% of it was delicious. At no point was I bored, or irritated by 'merely' staying on the beach, it probably helped that we spent one day on a glass bottomed boat.

That was a really fantastic trip. Our brilliant hotel, Prinsotel Alba, advised that we take this particular trip, and it was completely worth the €25 it cost! We were driven around the Majorca island, stopped off for a 45 minute swim in ocean, and got to pick up some fairly impressive tan lines. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to see any fish through the glass bottom, but I did see some during my swim. Also, the constant sun didn't help my sea sickness, but sitting in the shade, and swimming in the ocean really helped that.

Another first on this holiday, was a very personal one.

This photo became the first full bikini one I have ever taken and posted publicly! It took me a little while to convince myself to do it, but I'm really glad I did, and a bit proud of myself. Yes I tried to breathe my stomach in and what not, but I think it really speaks to the relaxed atmosphere created on this holiday, and the change in my own feelings. I couldn't be more grateful to my friends, both on the holiday with me and back home beforehand, for their part in it all.

I'll be honest, I probably wouldn't go back to Cala D'Or for longer then 4 days, but that certainly doesn't mean I wouldn't go back at all, I most definitely would. My advice for those going, is expect to chill and not be constantly 'busy' so you can embrace it once you there; stay in Prinsotel Alba; go on a glass-bottomed boat; drink in Upstairs bar and dance in Buddha, and eat in Rustic. 

 

VOTE. Please.

VOTE. Please.

If you live in the UK, are a British citizen, are over 18, your country has acknowledged your right to vote and has made you eligible to do so. If you don't vote every single person who has campaigned for the right to vote, died or been abused through that campaigning, has done so in vain.

But! I hear people cry. But, what? I ask. But you don't trust politicians? You don't trust the 'system'? You don't understand what's going on? Guess what the answer to the first two questions is: VOTING. Vote politicians you don't trust out, and ones you trust in, or even run for a position yourself. Vote in  and campaign for referendums that will change the system. The third question also has a fairly simple solution: investigate. Watch/read the news, hold conversations with people that have a better understanding than yourself, read the leaflets that inevitably get shoved through your letter box, and then there's always the internet.

VOTE. Please.

For the sake of interest, I voted in the EU Referendum and I voted remain. Simply, as a Liverpudlian, I have first hand experience of how beneficial European money can be. Also, none of the arguments from the Leave campaign are fully accurate, and certainly do not convince me against Europe, we're no longer the largest empire in the world, we need to understand that and realise we're stronger IN. That's just my opinion, and I showed it through my vote, I encourage everyone who can to do the same, whichever way they feel about the referendum.

VOTE. Please.

Great Music, Great People, Great Weekend

While I look forward to spending next weekend in Majorca with the cheer girls, I thought I'd have a write about the fantastic time I had last weekend.

It began on Friday at one of my good friend's engagement parties. It was a lovely, relaxed night filled with love, laughter and friendship, just like any good engagement party should be! I'm so happy for and proud of both her and her fiance for being in such a place in their lives that they can commit to each other in such a way. I'm sure there's something in the water though, seems like everyone's getting engaged! There've been 6 on my newsfeed in the past month alone! Maybe one day I'll be grown up and stable enough for it, but until then I'm going to scatter about in my life, and watch everyone else enjoy their turns first. With all the negativity in the world, it's fantastically heart warming to see so much love about the place.

Sunday was then my birthday present from Alex's parents: BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN at Wembley. I've grown up around the music from the likes of Springsteen so seeing him was a bit of a dream come true.

Getting to our hotel, a Crowne Plaza, from Euston and then onto Wembley wasn't the most simple of journeys, but it was completely and utterly worth it! The Boss put on an absolutely fantastic show, and the open top of Wembley gave the stadium a festival feel, my most favourite of atmospheres when it comes to listening to music. Unfortunately, there were some technical difficulties, and the stadium doesn't have the best acoustics, but it really didn't hinder the performance that much. One of the best moments of the concert was definitely when Springsteen pulled a young girl out of the audience after noticing her sign that mentioned she had school the next day. She looked about 8 or 9, but bravely took the opportunity to sing on stage with entirety of the crowd joining in. It was an incredible moment.

On the Tuesday, Alex and I climbed the Wrekin, a hill in Shropshire. It was really lovely to spend a couple of hours in the middle of nothing but nature, getting away like that can be incredibly calming and healing.

Then Wednesday, to round off our time together, Alex and I spent the day at the Black Country Living Museum. It's basically an open air museum that has been created out of buildings right from the Victorian era to give a sense of what towns were like back then. I loved it there. It was really easy to spend a good couple of hours wandering through it, appreciating how times have changed, and in ways how they haven't. One thing I picked up on was how little Victorians had within their houses because they lived outside so much, I think that's a nice sentiment for us to try and bring back.

Peaky Blinders film a fair bit at the museum so of course we had to get 'the shot'. I advise everyone to take a wander out whether you're a fan of history, or Peaky Blinders, or not. Same goes for Wigan Pier, and Beamish in the North East of England.

Hopefully, next weekend on holiday with the girls is as fun and lovely, though in probably very different ways! I shall report back in good time.

My Happy Place

 My parents detest tattoos, and yet I so far have two. This is partly because I began telling them I was getting tattoos when I was 12, which gave them six years to warm to the idea before I got my first one. Again to help them, but also to ease myself into the whole lifelong ink business, I decided to get a small yet meaningful one first.

I decided to go with a bass clef and a treble clef in the shape of heart, because, simply, 'I heart music'. Without wanting to induce eye rolls, music means an incredible amount to me. I feel it's fixed my heart on many an occasion, and it really helps me connect with God, whether it's through openly religious music or songs that I put my own faithful meaning to. For me, 'my happy place' where I can just be calm and content, has often been a state of mind induced by a particular song.

 A stunning song that recently came back into my life is 'Sound of Silence'. I sang this in my primary school choir, and I think the repetitiveness of practicing it, along with my young age, prevented me from truly listening to it to gain an understanding of the lyrics. Through a Spotify playlist I follow, a couple of weeks ago I heard Disturbed's cover of it. Being familiar with Disturbed I had an idea of what to expect, but their rendition completely blew me away. Instantly, in the midst of deadlines and exam drama (which ended yesterday, so long third year!!) I had my new happy place.
Why not have a listen as you read through what thoughts the lyrics inspire me to have.

 

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Darkness can feel safe, familiar, a place that's always been there to envelope me.
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
It's ok for things to take me back to the darkness, it's going to happen, but I shouldn't stay there.
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
Things can be so bothersome, even peace and quiet can't eradicate them.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
The world can be a lonely place. But there's always light in the world, for me that's been Jesus.
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
Humans can, and in some cases have gone too far. Simplicity is sometimes best. Do we really need modernity thrust in our faces, disrupting the peace and quiet we've appreciated for so long?

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
Modernity has brought us closer together than ever before, but our ineffectiveness is pushing us further apart than is healthy.
People talking without speaking
So many people have been gifted, blessed, with platforms from which to speak, but they don't. They just talk, unhelpfully, inconsiderately, and unnecessarily. That needs to stop.
People hearing without listening
PAY ATTENTION. Constantly falling out with someone? Listen, they're probably telling you what you do that hurts them so much they have to fight back. Don't understand someone? Listen, they're probably telling you everything you could ever need to know. PAY ATTENTION.
People writing songs that voices never share
'Your art matters, it's what got me here'. What do you have left when you don't have art, or expression? Take the colour out of the world and it will be the most dreary place you could ever imagine. Don't waste your talent. Don't tell someone to give up on their art. Embrace expression and passion.
And no one dared
I dare you. Do it. Whatever it is, whatever you're afraid of, just do it. Don't be afraid, just believe.
Disturb the sound of silence
Ignorance is not bliss.

"Fools" said I
"You do not know, silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence
The person who does not step in to stop the bully is as bad, if not worse, than the bully themselves. 

I understand this is definitely not the world's 'happiest' song, so it may seem odd that it has become my 'happy place'. However, I find Disturbed's version beautiful, yet arousing, it brings to the fore all that is wrong with the world and leaves you with a person's attempt to make a change. Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt. There is always worth in trying. I can't think of many happier, more comforting sentiments.

 

Trying To See How Far This Can Go

When I started this blog, I honestly thought it would end once I got home from Texas, but it hasn't! And my readership has stayed steady, so now I want to live up to its title of 'Laura Meets World', not just through how far I travel, how far this blog travels.
I recently started google+ing all of my posts, and I post them all on my personal twitter account. Now, I'm going to try out Bloglovin too: <a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/14900509/?claim=q9wh3sz25v9">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>
If anyone has any ideas to help, whether it be to do with the blog's content, or other platforms to promote from, then please let me know. Thanks!

The Experience of Writing a Dissertation (or two...)

Yesterday, I handed in my history dissertation, almost two weeks after completing my criminology one - PHEW. The experience of writing them both has been slightly traumatic, but also rewarding, and I'm just hoping now that my grades reflect the fact I worked so hard on them for at least 9 months...we shall see. To round it all off, I thought I would share a little of my experience with them, along with some tips I picked up along the way.

1. Make an Effort with Your Tutor
Seriously. The help, advice, and patience I received from my tutors was invaluable to the process. I think this was because I kept in regular contact with them, met the deadlines set, and openly took their advice on board. Writing a dissertation is a solo adventure, supposedly, so your tutor isn't going to chase you about it, you have to go to them, and from my experience whatever effort you put in, they will match.

2. Start Early
I started the reading for my dissertations last June. Considering one of my subjects is history there was a hell of a lot of literature to get through so it really was necessary for me start then, I most definitely see that now. I easily have 50,000 words of notes across the two of them, but that meant that it only took me a week to write the first drafts. Yes, they were definitely the first drafts, and I'm not recommending spending only 40 hours writing it, and then sending it straight to submission as some have, but gathering evidence is the most arduous bit, so give yourself time to do it all thoroughly.

3. You Will Have a Breakdown
Don't kid yourself that you're going to fly through the process no bother, I'm sorry but no one ever has and no one ever will. Accept that you will get very emotional about it all at some point, so when it does happen you can deal with it and move on, rather than overly freak out.

4. Enjoy Your Topics
My criminology dissertation was entitled: The Criminological Relevance of Stereotypical Cultural Representations of the Offender: the case of the Joker in the Batman Franchise, and my history was: Betty Shabazz and Coretta Scott King: An Examination of How Race, Religion and Gender Impacted Upon Their Lives'. This meant I spent a whole year looking into comic books and strong women - awesome. Even on bad days, I was ultimately enjoying what I was reading/writing and that is damn important.

5. Everything Else Still Goes On
I was at a baptism 3 days before I had my criminology dissertation in, and I have a 3,000 word essay due tomorrow aka 2 days after my history dissertation was due. You need to plan your time wisely, because yes, dissertation's are absolutely mega, but the world and life don't care enough to stop happening.

6. Look After Yourself
If you're the kind of person that stresses out a ridiculous amount, then do your best with your timings to reduce that, and be kind enough to yourself to allow any necessary outbursts. Though sugary snacks are really easy to reach for, and you're definitely entitled to indulge during this stressful time, in the long run it is actually fruit and vegetables that will keep your energy levels up, and your body healthy. Don't let the rest of your body down because your brain work is taking up so much time. In the same vein, don't let the rest of your brain down by allowing stress to seriously affect your mental health because you're brain's so busy being academic. As I've said, outbursts and being emotional is perfectly normal during this time, but if it gets too much, talk to a doctor and don't be afraid to ask for help and support.

7. Don't Compare Yourself to Anyone Else
In my case, I handed in my criminology dissertation 5 days early, and those who were struggling with theirs could easily have hated me for it, but guess what? I had a history dissertation due in 10 days after the criminology one, an essay due in 12 days after and an exam 3 weeks after. I needed to get that first dissertation done as soon as possible so I had a hope of completing the other things on time and well. Everyone has their own situations and motivations, so do yourself a favour and don't distract yourself with other people's work, focus on your own.

8. Take Pride in Your Work
This is probably the biggest piece of work you've ever taken on, right? When it's finished be incredibly proud of yourself that you got there! You did it!! Follow that pride through and make sure you present your work nicely, you don't want to let yourself down by the thing being amazing in content, but not put together well enough that you will be able to keep it and display it.

9. Learn From Your First OneIf, like me, you decide to do two dissertations and they have very different hand-in dates, then learn from your experience with the first one to better your experience with your second. In my case, I made changes to my criminology one within an hour of handing it in and panicked about, so when it came to my history one I accepted that might be normal, and removed the panic. I also found out that after handing in a dissertation your motivation to do anything borderline academic is zero, and my head and I had a complete falling out. Consequently, I wrote my notes for and planned tomorrow's essay while my dad was reading over my history dissertation and the weekend, so now only the 'easy' bit of actually writing the thing is left.

10. Celebrate the Hell Out of Finishing
YOU DID IT. WELL DONE. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉