B.A.E., three little letters that, to me, have the most irritating meaning; Before Anything Else. Now, I wholeheartedly appreciate it's use as a casual term of endearment, like 'babe', or like 'BFF'. I mean, how many people have you ever called 'BFF' and they're not around any more? Apologies for the cynicism, but that probably happens more than the forevers do. That's all said, taken and meant positively at the time and I'm not about to argue against positivity, or people strongly, openly, and deeply connected to food.
---> Preaching to the choir.
Nope, my gripe with B.A.E. is it's implication that a thing or person exists that comes before literally anything else, and under any circumstance. I have one example of something being 'B.A.E.' that is positive, but I'll save that till the end.
Let's kick off with a very topical and extremely negative example; Donald Trump. He's running for President of the United States, and you could argue that his policies hold the American people up as 'B.A.E.'s, they're his priority and more important than anything else. Not a bad approach for the American President to undertake right? In theory, perhaps not. In practice though it is horrendous. He's having the Mexicans build a wall, specific and derogatory laws against Muslims, nothing but disrespect and abuse for women, and absolutely zero ideas about how to reduce the racial tensions erupting across America right now. P.O.T.U.S. is one of, if not the, most powerful person on the planet. They don't get a B.A.E. in my opinion, they get the responsibility of creating strategies to deal with highly complex matters. Matters that need to be dealt with most probably through prioritising, but priorities must be decided upon within the specific situation, not beforehand.
Number 2 of probably a hundred, but only 3 in this post; I don't agree with referring to a partner as B.A.E. I don't believe they should categorically come before anything else. I mean, yeah they should most definitely be important to you, and, for example, spending their birthday with them and not your friends is definitely the ideal, but it goes back to my previous point of nothing being definite enough to concretely say 'this person comes before anything else'. For example, in my first year at Keele Alex suffered a really bad injury during a rugby game. It was the same day as my Christmas meal with cheer, but I didn't go to that in preference of looking after him and getting him home safely. I didn't do that because he's 'B.A.E.', I did that because a person very important to me was really hurt and being there for him was where I wanted to be more than eating food. However, had he and I had plans that for a meal and one of my cheer friends had been hurt in training, chances are I'd have cancelled on him and stayed with them. I know he'd do the same. It's about taking situations as they come.
Now, if you've read my blog before and noticed how much I do like to emphasise self love and looking after yourself, particularly with regards to mental health, you might be surprised that I think making yourself B.A.E. is also a negative, not the one positive. I wholeheartedly espouse the fact that if you are unhealthy and unhappy you're not going to of much use to the life you deserve or anybody in it. Therefore, if some people or places in it are making you unhealthy and unhappy then by all means leave them, even if it calls initial upset, it will be better in the long run. However, again, it is all about the situation you find yourself in. If you let yourself irrefutably be B.A.E., then you run the very dangerous risk of becoming self-absorbed and that isn't good for anyone. I think this is a difficult one, and definitely the one I struggle with the most personally. As I get older and more mature I look back and notice how many mistakes I made because I didn't want to be self-absorbed, but then I forgot to look after myself, then I looked after myself too much and it's one big messy ball of emotions and efforts. This is all about balance I feel, being able to switch off from the world to have time to yourself, but also dragging yourself out of bed to celebrate a friend's promotion or something even if you've just been sacked from your own job.You don't owe anyone anything, but you owe it to yourself to not push people away and end up lonely, old, with nothing but regrets. This is all starting to go round in circles that remind me of when Phoebe challenges Joey to do a completely selfless act on Friends...moving on...
For me, the only thing I know most definitely comes before anything else in my life is my faith, but to me that is my way of life which is probably why I don't feel guilty about it, or that it's negative. I pray every single day, through the good times and the bad, saying thank you, please and sorry whenever necessary. My faith guides my life in many different ways, there are things that I have and haven't done purely because I feel God doesn't want that for me. I know that faith isn't for everyone, but maybe their way of life is 'B.A.E.' for everyone, after all it's life that forces us to reveal who or what 'B.A.E.' is every time it flings us into a new situation. Maybe if we all did put living Before Anything Else violence would be less of an answer. Maybe...
---> Preaching to the choir.Nope, my gripe with B.A.E. is it's implication that a thing or person exists that comes before literally anything else, and under any circumstance. I have one example of something being 'B.A.E.' that is positive, but I'll save that till the end.
Let's kick off with a very topical and extremely negative example; Donald Trump. He's running for President of the United States, and you could argue that his policies hold the American people up as 'B.A.E.'s, they're his priority and more important than anything else. Not a bad approach for the American President to undertake right? In theory, perhaps not. In practice though it is horrendous. He's having the Mexicans build a wall, specific and derogatory laws against Muslims, nothing but disrespect and abuse for women, and absolutely zero ideas about how to reduce the racial tensions erupting across America right now. P.O.T.U.S. is one of, if not the, most powerful person on the planet. They don't get a B.A.E. in my opinion, they get the responsibility of creating strategies to deal with highly complex matters. Matters that need to be dealt with most probably through prioritising, but priorities must be decided upon within the specific situation, not beforehand.
Number 2 of probably a hundred, but only 3 in this post; I don't agree with referring to a partner as B.A.E. I don't believe they should categorically come before anything else. I mean, yeah they should most definitely be important to you, and, for example, spending their birthday with them and not your friends is definitely the ideal, but it goes back to my previous point of nothing being definite enough to concretely say 'this person comes before anything else'. For example, in my first year at Keele Alex suffered a really bad injury during a rugby game. It was the same day as my Christmas meal with cheer, but I didn't go to that in preference of looking after him and getting him home safely. I didn't do that because he's 'B.A.E.', I did that because a person very important to me was really hurt and being there for him was where I wanted to be more than eating food. However, had he and I had plans that for a meal and one of my cheer friends had been hurt in training, chances are I'd have cancelled on him and stayed with them. I know he'd do the same. It's about taking situations as they come.
Now, if you've read my blog before and noticed how much I do like to emphasise self love and looking after yourself, particularly with regards to mental health, you might be surprised that I think making yourself B.A.E. is also a negative, not the one positive. I wholeheartedly espouse the fact that if you are unhealthy and unhappy you're not going to of much use to the life you deserve or anybody in it. Therefore, if some people or places in it are making you unhealthy and unhappy then by all means leave them, even if it calls initial upset, it will be better in the long run. However, again, it is all about the situation you find yourself in. If you let yourself irrefutably be B.A.E., then you run the very dangerous risk of becoming self-absorbed and that isn't good for anyone. I think this is a difficult one, and definitely the one I struggle with the most personally. As I get older and more mature I look back and notice how many mistakes I made because I didn't want to be self-absorbed, but then I forgot to look after myself, then I looked after myself too much and it's one big messy ball of emotions and efforts. This is all about balance I feel, being able to switch off from the world to have time to yourself, but also dragging yourself out of bed to celebrate a friend's promotion or something even if you've just been sacked from your own job.You don't owe anyone anything, but you owe it to yourself to not push people away and end up lonely, old, with nothing but regrets. This is all starting to go round in circles that remind me of when Phoebe challenges Joey to do a completely selfless act on Friends...moving on...
For me, the only thing I know most definitely comes before anything else in my life is my faith, but to me that is my way of life which is probably why I don't feel guilty about it, or that it's negative. I pray every single day, through the good times and the bad, saying thank you, please and sorry whenever necessary. My faith guides my life in many different ways, there are things that I have and haven't done purely because I feel God doesn't want that for me. I know that faith isn't for everyone, but maybe their way of life is 'B.A.E.' for everyone, after all it's life that forces us to reveal who or what 'B.A.E.' is every time it flings us into a new situation. Maybe if we all did put living Before Anything Else violence would be less of an answer. Maybe...
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