So Long 2015, and Thanks for all the Lessons

We did it!!
If you're reading this then you made through another year!
Congratulations!!

It may seem patronising to congratulate us on making it through another year, but getting through 365 can be a real challenge, and of course I don't mean anything badly about those who aren't physically here to ring in 2016 with us.

Personally, my emotions and security have done a complete 180, and I couldn't feel more grateful or blessed. At the beginning of the year, I struggled with settling back in Keele and finding my place at 'home' again. That lasted right through until summer. My moods were all over the place, my reactions were completely irrational, and I was entirely uncomfortable with myself. I mean yes, I had amazing experiences such as turning 21, holidaying in Barcelona, and meeting two stars of my most favourite TV show. I'm incredibly grateful for those things, and feel blessed for having had them in my life, but I wasn't right. I wasn't myself.

I got help once I started back at Keele. I can't believe how much it has helped. My constant feelings of guilt, the paranoia that comes with, my inability to trust, have completely calmed down. Does it mean I no longer have days when I think everyone hates me, or when I have no motivation or self belief, or when I'm incapable of talking to people? No. It just means they're far more manageable, and are fewer and further between. This semester has definitely been my favourite. That isn't because it's been the easiest, it really hasn't, but it's been the most worth it.

I haven't felt as consistently positive, secure, and motivated as I do right now going into 2016. It was identified that my main problem is people management, I don't trust people enough to accept that they like, and I get very easily frustrated when they act in a way I can't understand or in a way I don't feel I ever would. My trust in people, and security within myself about how much the opinions of others don't need to mean to me, have improved a massive amount. This Christmas I did not at all feel festive. I didn't really want to interact with people, I was exhausted, and fairly miserable, the whole day should have been a write off. But it wasn't. It was actually a pretty relaxing and pleasant day about important people and nothing else. There are still a minority of a significant few that will always annoy and confuse, but I can cope so much better with that now. Seriously, if you need help, get it, because being able to cope and being secure within yourself is ridiculously necessary. There's no shame in reaching out to others.

All the best to all of you for 2016, you deserve it.

12 Days of [Third Year] Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Keele uni gave to me:  
Twelve near breakdowns
Eleven phone calls home
Ten pigs in blankets  
Nine essays written
Eight spots from stressing 

Seven prayers for patience
Six hours of sleeping
Five pj days
Four nights out missed out

Three meals good bye 

Two dissertations  
and a Cheerleading calendar

Social Media, It's all About Me Dear.

Social media:

• The focus of this generation
• It's mine
• It's yours
• A platform to express yourself upon, but not having the confidence to ever fully do it because it's also a platform for keyboard warriors, or worse the screen shotters that discuss your social media things in private
• An easy way to keep in contact with the world, the world you care about, and the one that just exists around you 
• Where confidence can grow (100 likes on a selfie = fittest you've ever felt)
• or where confidence can be obliterated
• It's positive
• It's negative
• 'websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking.' - google dictionary definition
• Another place for businesses to thrust themselves at you
• A grow bag for negativity and bullying
• The 21st Century's signature dish
• Where you can share/boast about/moan about your life
• The home of the #
• An app to share pics etc with people through
• How you earn a living 
• Aids education
• belittles the uneducated, and makes the educated lazy 
• It hurts
• It heals
• Helps people organise social movements
• makes people feel a need for social movements
• The first thing you see in the morning, the last thing you see at night

Excuse the random rambling, but after days of trying to make a more cohesive post about the affects of social media, I gave in to the fact that it isn't possible really. You either repeat what's already been said, or your message is becomes so garbled in trying to be individual, no one can understand it. Social media, is all of the things above, and you are more than welcome to add your own to the list. It isn't positive or negative, black or white, it's the rainbow over the grey areas of life. 

Pray for the World

This weekend, for me, was wonderful. I spent it all with Alex and his family celebrating his 21st in both Wolverhampton and Birmingham. Usually, I would now go on to do a post about all the fantastic places we went to and what a brilliant time was had by all; but I can't.

On Friday night, there were terrorist attacks upon Paris. According to reports they were the most deadly attacks in Europe since the Madrid train bombings 10 years ago. Due to these horrendous events many have been calling people to #prayforParis, but thankfully light is now being shed on other atrocities that also occurred and deserve our prayer. ISIS also attacked Beirut, there were earthquakes in Mexico and Japan, and bombings in Iraq. On a daily basis ISIS are raising hell across the Middle East, but I can't say I remember seeing the Syrian flag across the Sydney Opera house.

There is a whole world out there that needs our prayer, our focus, our attention, and our help. 3 out of 4 of those things can be done without a person believing in God, because this isn't about religion. This is about a group of people who want to watch a large section of the world burn, and they're willing to burn with it where necessary. If this was about religion, then the 1.7 billion Muslims in the world would probably be very close to being in full control of every single one of us by now. I fully agree that in many respects the West should never have invaded the Middle East, and if the cultures there truly do not want our culture thrust upon them then that's fair enough. However, the likes of ISIS who say that that is their aim, to rid the world of western culture, are being fled by the people they are trying to 'save', the West is being chosen above them.

And why is the West being chosen above them? Because it the West, we are still surprised into a humungous reaction whenever we are attacked as it doesn't happen that often or severely. That's a privilege. Our news reports can't stop going on and on about Paris because it's brand new and shocking, whereas unfortunately countries like Iraq are atrociously attacked everyday. I'm not saying that any of it's right, but that's how it is.

We are of privilege. My main worry this weekend was would I manage to fit in enough work around Alex's celebrations? My main worry about the future is will I get the degree mark I truly want? Will I work hard enough to achieve what I want? Safety and security are handed to me on a plate so I have room to figure out my dreams and work hard enough to achieve them. Can you honestly imagine what people are going through where they're so insecure and unsafe, all they can dream is that they wake up tomorrow? We need to think outside of ourselves and do whatever can be done to help. Right now, for me, that's praying and donating money to the refugees (yes, one of the Paris attackers came through Greece from Syria as a refugee, but that only implores us to do tighter checks, not stop helping those in true need), and awaiting better instruction from those who know.

Berlin, You Have a Piece of my Heart

Last Thursday until Sunday Alex and I used the excuse of it being his 21st next week to forget life in Berlin for a bit. It was brilliant. Berlin's Alex's favourite city, and a place I have been dying to visit so that's why I chose it. It was great decision even if I do say so myself. Even though we went at a time that wasn't summer or Oktoberfest or Christmas, it didn't matter, there was such a natural, welcoming buzz about the place regardless.

In terms of organising the trip, I used all of my usual methods. I put all my money on the Travelex multicurrency card, while Alex had some cash which worked out rather useful as Berlin is a cash more than card city. The flights and hotel were all booked through Expedia. It was a bit annoying that there weren't any direct flights to Berlin as the airport there is a bit all over the place with them building a new one, but Munich airport was a very nice place to stop in. Our hotel was the Sofitel, Kufurstendamm and it was b-e-a-utiful. The toilet had a phone in it for some wonderfully bizarre reason, and we were each got the cosiest slippers and a dressing gown. In terms of booking things to do while there, I booked the city sightseeing bus for two of the four days we were there, and usual it got us round everything we wanted to see whilst teaching us something along the way. I also booked the guided tour of the Reichstag, which was incredibly interesting.

Much like when I visited Ellis Island in New York, there was a lot of personal eye-opening emotion in me when in Berlin. My dad went there in the 80s, while the wall was up, and the there was an East and West Berlin, 30 years later there I was viewing sections of the wall, and wandering through Checkpoint Charlie without a care in the world. It was quite astounding.
I think the historical thing that upset me the most was probably seeing sections of the wall. Especially in the current climate of fences against immigrants, the likes of Donald Trump wanting to build a wall across the American/Mexican border, it really disgusted me that the deaths of those attempting to cross the Berlin wall have barely affected politics. There were children shot by soldiers as their parents tried to take them to a better life. Absolutely foul. At one section of the wall (the one in the picture below), there was a cross to commemorate all of the graves that were either moved or built upon to create the wall. They literally built a wall on dead people, and then shot others at it. It upset me so much.

The thing most heart warming about this particular section of the wall was that very nearby is the Chapel of Reconciliation. It's a place for those of all or no faith to sit in quiet; peace.







Luckily, Berlin is a place of beautiful culture that cheered me up no end. Even politically it still has moments of strength, and happiness, particularly in the form of the Reichstag which is the parliament building.

The most impressive thing about the Reichstag for me, was that due to the fire there, only the facade is in the classic, older, stone style. Inside it is uber modern and really open, not at all stuffy and traditional. However, something that has been kept from the time of separation is some of the Soviet graffiti. The most offensive phrases have been removed, but the names of soldiers, the places they've been, even a love heart with two names in of a couple who are still married now, has all been carefully preserved.

Outside of the historical and political elements, Berlin has some fantastic food and beer. The first night we ate at the Hard Rock Cafe, as we do in every place we can. Inside there was a guitar made out part of the wall, it was brilliant. Then we found a place called Zoo Bar, it was really cool inside and made some lovely cocktails. It looks out over the zoo from the top of a nearby hotel, but as it was late at night we couldn't see anything unfortunately. Though to be fair, Germany don't water down their alcohol in bars it seems so I was seeing all sorts by the time we left. For real German food, the next two nights we act in Restauration 1840 and Dicke Wirtins, I can't recommend either more. The currywurst in 1840 was delicious, and the steins were humongous and delightful. Then in Dicke Wirtins, everything was really cheap, really tasty, and absolutely massive! I couldn't finish my schnitzel.

To get to all of these places we used a mixture of the tour buses and the trains. The system in Germany meant that we could get on trains without paying, which we did. It all went well until the last day when ticket inspectors caught us as we were pulling into the station we were going to get off at anyway. This meant we finished our holiday with a lovely €120 fine...it's about £90 which is far less that an English fine would be, but still, not how one wishes to end a holiday, so buy tickets people!

In all, Berlin is now most definitely in my top 5 of favourite places. I could actually see myself living there, especially once I get my confidence back up with my spoken German. I really frustrated myself over the weekend because I kept speaking English instead, even though it really wasn't necessary. It's definitely something I'm going to work on for next time! That is after I've finished all of this university work, trying to have fun and take a week out in third year doesn't half create a backlog of things to be done.

Long Time No Speak...

 In the words of Adele's beautiful new song, 'Hello, it's me...'

Even though I've only ever really succeeded in blogging twice a month, but that has been consistent, I feel like this time I've been away for a long time. I think it's because so much has happened since I last blogged, just shy of a month ago. Then, I was trying to pass on some wisdom to my 15 year old self, and looking forward to third year. Now, third year has begun, and it's been ridiculously hectic already.

Amongst all my reading for my dissertations;

Trying to be the best social sec I can be for the Keele Panthers;

Catching up with people I missed greatly over the summer, and enjoy my last year of freedom to go out on a weekday and dance into the wee hours;

I haven't even given myself a chance to take photos of it all, the pics above are taken by a photographer in our SU every night pretty much, and so far they're about the only record I have of nights out. To be honest, I barely have given myself a chance to think, and really take it all in, until now I suppose, so the lack of pictures doesn't surprise me. I'm definitely going to try and take more though, they're lovely to look back on and take stock of what really matters. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the little things, whether it be someone's tone of voice so you take what they say the wrong way, but actually they didn't at all mean it, or worrying about material things that in the grand scheme of things really don't matter. That's what I like about most photos, they show a time and a place that even if only momentarily, forgets all the stuff that doesn't matter. Having said all this, it's then very easy to get wrapped up in the web of horror that is social media, but I feel a blog about that is brewing so more on that soon.

In all this year so far has been one of my favourites, yes of course there have been some less than great times already, but the general atmosphere and comfort I feel right now is the best I've ever had at university. I sort of wish that the other two years at Keele had been a lot more like this, but I completely understand that it took those two years and their events to get to this point. My hope and aim, is that the rest of the year continues with the great balance of getting degree related work done (and done well), keeping up with all my friends both home and away, and still organise regular socials that the cheerleaders enjoy. We shall see how it goes...

Dear 15 Year Old me

Second year was a rollercoaster of growing up. I spent half of it in Texas, half of it in Keele
not being able to understand myself, and all of it figuring out who I am, what I want, and who is there to share it with. So after this brilliant summer that rounded off the madness in the most lovely way, I had a look through some old photos and diaries as I decided what to pack to take with me back to Keele tomorrow. On Facebook I have this thing about naming my birthday photo albums after songs, and my one for my 15th is called 'didn't know who I was supposed to be at 15' thanks to the glorious T Swizzle. 15 was a really rough year for me, the only one probably more rough than the 20-21 one, and my diary reflects that. I thought, coming out of the other side of it all, and going into my final year of my undergraduate degree, and finally seeking help for the problems caused for me by that year of 15, I would write a little letter of advice to myself.

Look after yourself, pursue your dreams, be healthy, be happy, be able to look in the mirror and smile. But please, don't forget that there's no point in being a vibrant amazing soul if you have no one to share it with; if a tree falls when no one is around does it make a sound?

Others ought to experience how great you are, and you can help them by being the best version of yourself, so by all means do whatever it takes to reach that. The cliche is that it is lonely at the top, but that doesn't have to be the case. Decide what you want, and never lose that aim, but make sure you have people to share it all with, to support you, and celebrate with you. You don't want to ditch everyone while going for the top job, or while in a new relationship, then having no one around if you get fired, or to be your bridesmaids/groomsmen if the relationship works out.

Having said this; ain't nobody got time for toxic people, so don't be afraid to move on. If a person can't be happy for you at your best, no matter what they're going through, then don't trust them at your worst. Never forget, that JOY = Jesus, Others, You. The two most important commandments are love your God and love your neighbour, then the ten commandments are all about sustaining a relationship with God, while looking after others and yourself. However, you can love your neighbour without living next door to them, or in their pocket. We're all brilliantly different, so of course we'll never all be best friends, but seek to learn how to have a working relationship with every kind of person you'll meet, there's never any point in creating drama, especially if it merely comes from being very different to someone else. 

Don't focus on who you ARE, and get bogged down with who you are going to BE. The fact of the matter is, at least scientifically you're always a human BEING. Even binging on fast food and Netflix you're still being, that's ok, that's great, that's how it is. Let yourself be, whatever happens will happen, but don't worry about that. Keep your personality and 'self' in tact, then you will BE, and it'll be great. 

I'm so excited by the prospect of my third and final year of my undergrad, but also intimidated by it. I feel like this is the final year to figure out how to go about things, which is probably highly untrue as you never stop learning in life, but I'm a worrier and consequently a planner. Writing this little note has helped me organise my approach to this next year, so I can work out the kinks and move on into the big wide world.

Let's do this!
 

No Human Is Illegal

For many reasons I have let this blog go quiet for a few weeks, apologies, but I should be back on track soon. This issue that has really pulled me out the slump though is that about immigration currently going on. I'll try to keep this succinct, and not a massive rant about every little thing related to this topic.

Firstly, immigrants and refugees are completely different. Secondly, even though people bitch about immigrants, they actually brought more into the British economy than they have taken out, and they do jobs that born and bred Brits are to idle to do in some cases. Thirdly, if you don't like people feeling it is necessary to come to Britain for a better life, attack your politicians and vote against those with policies that promote the inequality across the world.

Considering the West holds at least some responsibility when it comes to the wars, and problems across the Middle East, I find it disgustingly astounding that at any point the likes of David Cameron could refuse helping the refugees. He finally has bowed to public pressure, and has said Britain will fill it's moral responsibilities (http://www.theguardian.com/politics/blog/live/2015/sep/03/tory-mps-join-call-for-cameron-to-agree-to-britain-taking-more-refugees-politics-live), he should never have suggested otherwise. Then again this is the man who talked about leaving the human rights act...

I know that it can be argued that the resources in Europe are somewhat stretched, but we have resources that the majority of these refugees have only ever been able to dream of. As a believer of treating others how you wanted to be treated, even on only that level, I really can't fathom why countries are blocking off their borders. However, today my home city of Liverpool for example, has said it will provide safety and security for 100 Syrian refugees, and as I said David Cameron has bowed to public pressure, all this points to the fact that every little helps. We have to keep trying.

This blog began when I travelled to Texas to study abroad, that's the kind of way we should be seeing the world, a three year old child should not be forced to leave his home because of war, and then drown along the way.

No human is illegal.
No human is worthless.

One Tree Hill. One True Happiness.

On Monday, myself and a friend made through a joint love of One Tree Hill, went to Manchester to see Tyler Hilton and Kate Voegele perform. They both starred on One Tree Hill as Chris Keller and Mia Catalano respectively. Since first watching the show in 2006, it has been a favourite TV show of mine, only rivalled by The Bill and Criminal Minds. One of the main characters, Peyton Sawyer, was someone I managed to really connect with. Through her my love of music intensified, and black converse have since never left my wardrobe! The actress who plays her, Hilarie Burton is now one of my favourite actresses, she's never seemed anything other than warm, funny, and lovely.

Monday's gig was completely different to seeing Snoop Dogg at Keele last Friday.

Friday was absolutely brilliant. I got to show my oldest friend my university, and introduce her to some of my closest friends, while getting to hang out with them. After living with everyone for the past year, I always miss them over the summer. We also all got to share in the wonder that Snoop Dogg getting his assistant to play a preprepared playlist of other people's songs...

Completely different of course, were Tyler and Kate who played their own music, wonderfully and beautifully accompanied at most by a guitar and piano. As a fan of their music anyway, I knew all the songs they played, but it was extra special when they played songs that they had done on OTH. The scenes connected to those songs came flooding back to me, and I got all giddy. Before going into Manchester Academy 3, where the gig happened, we went over to the merchandise table and bought a signed polaroid to be taken at the end of the gig. Even though it was fairly intimate, there weren't enough tickets for everyone, so we were 2 in about 75 who got the chance - amazing!

Even though Tyler was losing his voice, he still managed to ask my name, how I was, and thank me for coming. Kate too was really bubbly and kept thanking me for going, I am truly the grateful one though. Their music on the show helped me so much, and them taking the time to fly over here is something I could never repay. I really hope they keep at it, and I get to see them again!

I implore you all to go check out their music if you don't already know them.

 

Viva Barcelona

I was slightly saved from holiday blues this morning by receiving a 2:1 overall for second year! It's the grade I wanted, but I am slightly worried that many of the good grades came from my Texas courses...definitely need to crack the whip next year at Keele, and I am sure I shall! I'm now sat making my way through all of the photos, and thought I should put together my blog post about it.

To go through the holiday day by day, would take an absolute age, and even though I'd love reminiscing you'd probably fall asleep reading this, so instead I shall let you in on the highlights.

Our Hotel - Hotel SB Plaza Europa
Though it was a half an hour walk from where we had to get the bus from - Espanya square, a secondary one to the main one Catalunya, which is at the top of La Rambla. The entrance hall was really well designed, and the roof top pool had stunning views.

I think that visitors may miss out on Espanya, and only focus on Catalunya unless they are told to go, so I am telling you to go!! An old bull ring has been turned into a shopping centre that has restaurants on the top floor with stunning views, including the art museum. While we were there we found out the road up to the museum hosts an annual Harley Davidson exhibition - a fab surprise! Catalunya is still worth it though of course. It sits at the top of La Rambla, which is nice but nowhere near as buzzing as I heard it was, and houses an impressive shopping centre with a restaurant with stunning views at the top, and Alex's 14th and my 6th Hard Rock Cafe.

City Sightseeing Bus ToursEven though I had to spend about an hour cropping the bus rails and people's heads out of pictures, as I said before about New York, and New Orleans, these bus tours are THE BEST way to see a new place. We probably didn't need all four days, especially as we also bought four days of the Barcelona card (definitely unnecessary), but the views from the buses, and the amount you can see in a short space of time in unrivaled.

Sagrada Familia

This stunning cathedral was a highlight of my trip. You can tell that it's an outpouring of Gaudi's passion for architecture and God. Walking indoors to the cast white space, decorated with stunningly vibrant stained glass was one of the times I have felt most impressed. As a Christian, the giant building and sharp edges, mixed with colour and warmth really blends the more harsh God of the Old Testament with the calmer one of the New Testament through Jesus, our friend.

Camp Nou
One of the other 'churches' we visited was Camp Nou, the home of Barcelona FC. It really is a massively impressive stadium, and in some ways is superior to Wembley, the Molineux and Anfield, except of course that Anfield houses 5 UEFA trophies and Camp Nou only has 4...just saying...

Even if you're not a football fan, you HAVE to visit it, and they do reduced student prices!

Must Eat and Drink at
You MUST eat at El Nacional. It's the most quirky place, about 5 different restaurants all under one roof, providing some of the tastiest food. Alex and I ate in the meat restaurant and split a kilo of beef, it was wonderful, as were the Canarian potatoes we had to start.

 I also really advise that you drink in the ice bar. It's right on the beach, which only adds to the weirdness of being submerged into -15! As it was so warm outside the cold was actually more refreshing than anything, and my poor swollen blistered feet most certainly benefit!

The seven days away were so enjoyably relaxed that when it was time for our beach afternoon, I found sitting around a bit boring! Not it a bad way, but because I was so chilled already, having done everything we wanted to, and not had to leave the hotel before half 1 each day, the enforced chilling of sitting around wasn't necessary. Barcelona is an absolutely lovely place, and when they officially finish Sagrada Familia I'm most definitely going back, but until then there are far too many places on my must see list to visit first!

<3
 

Throwback Thursday

Happy first birthday to this blog!!

A year ago today I welcomed everyone to 'Laura Meets World'. I was at the end of a mad first year at Keele University, and about to embark on a semester studying abroad in Texas. Now, I am returning from a week in Barcelona (I shall blog about asap) with Alex, the boyfriend I met at Keele, having gone through second year, one of the craziest years of my life - quite literally! I'm also researching the two dissertations I shall be writing next year, my final year of undergraduate study! It's bonkers how quickly everything's going. Here's to another year of me meeting the world, and experiencing life.

All The Feels

Humans attempted to test God, and asked Him how much He loves us, so He stretched out His arms, said 'this much', and then died. In the form of Jesus, God came to Earth to tell us that loving Him, and loving our neighbour are the two most important rules. The Old Testament is brilliant for history, and is so incredibly encouraging in the way that it foretells Jesus' coming, but the vengeful God of the Old Testament is moved on from in the form of our friend, the Son of Man. However, people decide to use certain passages from the Old Testament to attack homosexuality, an in essence not love their neighbour. Even in the New Testament much of what is written against homosexuality was written by the likes of Paul, members of the first church. Now don't get me wrong, they knew Jesus personally, everything they have to say is inspiring, and ought to be read, and they should be praised for their brave preaching in the face of adversity. BUT, they're not God, or Jesus, they are Christians ultimately sharing their own human interpretations. In verses near those against homosexuality, there are also verses against divorce, but in much of the Western world at least that is legal.

Therefore, love ultimately won when Jesus died for us to save us from our sins, and as an extension of that, (marriage) equality is also love winning.

Those I spent time in church with in Texas were conservative in their beliefs, and on Facebook have openly projected distaste for the new laws in America. They all promote love for their neighbour though, and aren't attacking homosexuals viciously. I think that's because they remember what we all must do; we all sin, and only God can judge. We are equal in our sin, and even though human punishments rank sins, God does not, sexual sin is no better or worse than any other sin.

In my opinion, this whole map should be dark green showing that the entire world has legalised marriage equality. I think that if a country wants to have laws they should at most be the 10 commandments, with the two greatest ones being to love your God and love your neighbour a national anthem if you will. However, not everyone's a Christian like me so I understand that will never happen, but really those commandments are the basics, and I believe the rest should be left to everyone else's personal relationship with God. He loved us so much that He sent Jesus to die for us, we can definitely discuss things like sexuality with Him without having to worry about being turned away.

In a world of so much terror and hatred, I think the legalities of love should be one of the last things on the to-do list, love is all you need, and it should be something we all have in whatever form we wish. At the end of the day, marriage isn't a sacrament for everyone, it is just a paper signing legal ceremony, and that should be as ok between a people of different genders as it is between people of the same genders, as should a more spiritual ceremony.

If you really are freaking out though, Buzzfeed has compiled a useful list about all the 'horror' that may now ensue: http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/what-happens-now#.ql3R9pJN8.

I don't have a Mental Illness, I have Quirks

Last night I was watching 'Have I Got News For You', one of my favourite satirical television shows. At the end they showed a fitting tribute to a regular guest, Charles Kennedy. He was a Liberal Democrat politician, quick-witted, intelligent, caring man that unfortunately died due to a hemorrhage related to his problems with alcohol. Addiction, is a mental illness, and these events got me thinking about a short post I put on an old blog that I thought I would share here.

'I have a tattoo with yellow on it to represent the ribbon for suicide awareness, one person I know who committed suicide was paranoid schizophrenic, two were depressed. I know of others who've suffered mental illnesses, and are close to them. I look back at my life and I’m pretty sure I can pinpoint moments in which I have been depressed, I have the scars to prove it.
We’re all just like you but with something extra.
It is hard and difficult and draining and exhausting and down right destroying at it’s worst but at it’s best, going so low can only make the highs, even the small ones, that much higher. It breaks me to have people I love hurt so much and to die, it upsets them that I hurt myself but I wouldn’t change any of it; it made us stronger as individuals and in our relationships and now I have a few more people to help me through the pearly gates when it’s my time and to be my guardian angels until then.
We’re all just like you but with something extra.'

Be vigilant, don't be afraid or too lazy to check on someone you think may be suffering, you could literally save a life.

I can Feel the Start of the Summer

After coming back from Texas, I knew I wanted to keep at travelling, but money, time and effort were of course issues. Next year, Alex and I have decided we want to a Californian road trip that includes spending a day at San Diego Comic Con dressed as Riker and Deanna Troi (if you know how we can do accurate outfits at a reasonable price, let me know please!). This is obviously going to be pretty expensive, so in saving for that, we decided not to do something too adventurous.

I suggested Barcelona as I've always wanted to go but haven't been yet, and Alex has been and loved it. Using travelsupermarket, expedia, lastminute.com and hotels.com, I came up with 3 days in Madrid, and 7 in Barcelona with flights in between. However, once we added on baggage, (I said I could handle just handluggage, but nopes, I highly doubt I could) and extras like sightseeing bus tours, it all got too expensive. Therefore, I gave up and left it to Alex to finalise.

Dun dun duunnn...he came up with...

7 nights staying at Hotel SB Plaza Europa! It looks fab! From the 2nd July til 9th July, we shall be living on sangria and tapas, I'm so excited!

I can't wait! This is definitely one of the holidays I've most looked forward to. Even the thought of getting bikini ready isn't daunting me too much. I've joined the gym, downloaded myfitnesspal which is the best app I've found to keep track of my progress and daily calorie intake, to try and trim down a bit, I'd love to lose another stone, but in all honesty I've never felt more secure in myself. There is still great room for improvement, but I am incredibly comfortable that I'm loved as I am, so any improvements I make are an added bonus really. The boy's a good 'un, my friends are definitely confirming themselves as people I'm very blessed to have around, and I've settled in my faith once more.

All Done With 21

My actual birthday is 13th April, but I am writing this post now because I have finally completed all of my celebrations. I was a bit all over the place about this birthday but it actually turned out brilliantly, I could not have asked for more.

Thankfully, my birthday fell on a Monday with the weekend before being a time off university for most of my friends, and Alex could come to stay. There were a few people that couldn't make it in the end, which was a shame, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself with everyone anyway.

On the Friday night, I went for a night out in Liverpool. It is my home town so I am a little biased, but especially with it being Grand National weekend, Liverpool truly lived up to being one of the best nights out in not only England, but also Europe. If you're in the area, try and plan for a night there, you won't regret it. We started off in Heebie Jeebies, a really chill place with room (and music) for dancing, as well as sitting and chatting, so it was the perfect meet up place to start off the night. The drinks are pretty reasonably priced, and there's a limited range of cocktails so I stuck with my trusty JD and lemo. Gradually everyone turned up, and once I started dancing I decided we should move on.

We queued for a little bit to get into Alma de Cuba which was ram packed. It's a more up market (read: expensive), cocktail bar where they have amazing Brazilian carnival dancers performing all night. It being a cocktail bar, I ordered the only one I'm really a fan of: sex on the beach, Alex had some whiskey based one that can in a brandy glass with orange people, both were super tasty. Then we got to dancing. The music in there isn't too dissimilar to Heebies, very much classic easy to dance to stuff. After there we finished at Mojo. Even though they've painted over the quote, and stopped you from dancing on the pool table, the atmosphere is still incredible. There music is a lovely cross between funk and indie, there is very rarely a song that comes on that I don't know or can't dance to.

The Saturday and Sunday were far more relaxed. My parents took Alex and I to the Miller and Carter restaurant/steakhouse on the Albert Dock on the Saturday for dinner, my mum still maintains it's the best steak she's ever had. Then on Sunday, Alex and I entertained ourselves in Bierkeller for the afternoon, sampling the steins available and playing a stupid amount of pool.

Then my birthday arrived! I was royally spoiled with presents that I am incredibly grateful for. My favourite one was also the most sentimental. When my Granny (dad's mum) passed away, I was about 3 and my Granddad had got the £5 coin that was minted that year for each of the grandchildren. He put it in a little pouch and gave it to me, but my dad decided to keep it until I was old enough to appreciate it. With my Granddad passing away a few years ago too, it was incredibly touching that my dad chose to give me the coin then. We then spent the day at Chester Zoo, replicating my first birthday. It was vey relaxing, exactly what I needed.

 

 

That day I also finally found out Alex's surprise present for me: we were going to LEGOLAND!!
We went on 26th-27th April, and stayed in the LEGOLAND hotel. We were definitely the only childless couple in the hotel, and were probably only one of about five childless couples out in the resort, but that didn't phase us at all. The food in the hotel was really decent for mass produced but the service was a little all over the place and slow. The rooms were the best part of the hotel. They all come in certain themes, we were in an adventure themed one, and as it was a premium room both the children's bedroom, the adult's one and the bathroom were decorated. We also got free lego because we completed the mini quest!

 

My favourite part of the whole park was mini land. Landmarks from countries from all around the world have been recreated ridiculously accurately in lego, it's beyond impressive.

The fact that it was during the school term, there not that many people there so we got around everywhere at least twice and barely queued for rides. Also, as it is aimed at children, scaredy-cat me could go on even the biggest ride!

We bought something called a digipass for £30. It meant that we could get a digital copy of all of the photos taken of us on rides, and one printed copy at the park. Considering one printed copy at the park cost £10 alone, it was a bargain! Definitely the second best spend of the day after the £50 I spent on Batman lego...

Sorry this post was so long, I had a very busy but lovely time! Now for the fun to end and the work to begin...

 

 

21 Has Begun

The beginning of my turning 21 was incredible! Although my birthday isn't until 13th April, Alex's parents very kindly got us tickets for England versus Lithuania at Wembley, the final group stage match of Euro 2016. Football, basically. Lots and lots of the beautiful game in it's English home. I really appreciate that they made so much effort for me, and that we can share a love of football. I'm a scouser, Liverpool has two stadia and two cathedrals, I believe in Jesus and football.

The match kicked off after 7pm, but we arrived early enough to take in the incredible structure that is Wembley.

I am a terrible traveller, I get sick pretty easily so I need to just fall asleep or I feel rotten and get grumpy. However, even when I can't sleep Virgin trains are definitely my preferred mode of transport to get me to London. They're really comfortable seats, and there's a well stocked little shop on board rather than someone with a trolley to wake you up as they blunder through the carriages. It was only a twenty minute walk to our hotel, which was a Ibis about 5 minute walk and well within site of Wembley stadium. The hotel was smart, clean, spacious, but I had a terrible night's sleep, as the room was boiling with no obvious way of cooling it down. This did not ruin my experience at all though. Especially as my experience included Harry Kane's debut, England winning 4-0 and dinner at the Handmade Burger Company. I highly recommend going to your local Handmade Burger Company, the food is damn tasty, reasonably priced, they have a 7.2% beer, and if you're watching your waistline, they have bunless burgers. 

The atmosphere at a football match is rivalled by almost no other, especially an international match. Looking around you could numerous different city teams advertised, but all of their names were on the England flag. Unfortunately, one of the last places a person can show their pride to be English without being attached to the BNP, is an international football match. It was brilliant feeling, such a sense of unity. I couldn't stop smiling the whole way through. 

The next morning, we breakfasted at Pret a Manger and then Virgin trained it back to Wolverhampton. For that evening, Alex's dad had bought Alex and I tickets for a club night in Wolverhampton called Blast Off. Until recently, it was the longest running club night in the world, only rivalled by a club night in Ibiza. Unfortunately, last year it decided to end, however, Saturday night it reopened to hit it's millionth 'bloffer' and gain a Guinness world record. I was so grateful I got to experience this night out that Alex has often raved about. 

The music was a brilliant mix of old school, dancey, indie tunes. In the civic hall where it was held, there were enough bars that we never queued for long, nor where they too expensive. I came home with a tenner in change! We stayed until closing and loved every minute of it. I greatly advise you keep an eye out for tickets, should they decide to do any more events. Also, have dinner first at the Bilash as we did, literally one of the best Indian restaurants I have eaten at everrrrrr. Their biryani is beautiful. 

90s and a Hint of Friends

The event that inspired this post happened about 10 days ago, but because I am the worst and second year is bloomin hectic, I have only had chance to get round to writing it all up now. It also doesn't help that I did a version of this last week, that then didn't save so I've had to go aaaaallllll the way back to square one. Something I am loving about second year, and quickly approaching 21, is that I really am at that stage of life where I am not only finding out who my real friends are, but also what I want in friends. This is hit me pretty hard at the 90s themed social I had with cheerleading two Fridays ago. I really started to connect with some of my squad like I haven't had the chance to yet. They were just honest with me, and they have my utter respect for that. I also saw a toughness and maturity I haven't seen in them before, which I really appreciated. In friends, I really do look for people who want to be honest about everything, and who aren't so oversensitive you can't call each other out on your shit, who will take responsibility for their actions, so we can all move on and be happy. On a less intense note perhaps, the night was also a cute reminder of the 'Dance of the Ages' party I went to in Texas.

What I Miss About the 90s:

Sleeping in plats
I have really odd mainly straight, with a bit of a wave usually, kind of hair. It can't make it's mind up and it bores me so much. Back in the 90s, when crimped hair was in and I could sleep in plats and the brush it out cos thanks to Hermione Granger, no one mocked frizz, I was so happy with my hair. Those were literally the days. 

Tamagotchi
I had a tamagotchi, namely because everyone else did so I thought, why not? But I'm not sure I ever learned how to use one, and if you gave me one now I would certainly have no clue what to do. Having said this, the fact that Sheldon Cooper's tamagotchi is still alive makes me super jealous.  

Nintendo
You can rant and about your Xbox's and whatever all day long, but Nintendo will forever be my favourite. Over time I had a game boy colour, a game cube and a DS, and I will forever hold on to them and adore them.  

Denim
In the 90s, I had red denim dungarees that matched my red leather clarks shoes. It was the most incredible outfit, and so practical too, that I nearly bought a corduroy grown up sized pair from Primark last summer. Don't worry you fashion nerds, I didn't, you can chill. 

Starting school
Being born in the April of 1994, meant I started school in September 1998. It was a magical time. I went to nursery from about 7 months old until school, so I was purely excited to make even more friends, and do big girl activities. My primary school experience in the 90s was pretty awesome; I broke my arm on my first school trip so got to sit on a chair at carpet time, I got my first hamster and named him Hafferty after the book we were reading in school, I was one of the first in my class to learn to tie a tie as my dad taught after I'd been the enormous star in the nativity play, complete with solo and I got to go to Colomendy on my first school overnight trip. Such a good few years! 

Disney Films
It was during this time that I called Snow White and the Seven Dwarves the Hi-Hos, that I had my first heartbreak through Mufasa's death, and I was ridiculously attached to Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty. Twas a glorious time! Now you can tell me to let it go all you want, but the new Disney films are good...just not that...

Blue Peter - Neighbours - The Simpsons - Fresh Prince - every night
You know you did it, you know you loved, you know you miss it.

All The Women Who Independent, Throw Your Hands Up At Me

Women get told they can do it, that there as good as men, better than men, stronger, smarter, in no need of the beauty standards set. Why? Because feminism is beginning to tip the scale, no longer is it equality being sought after but certain neo-feminists want women to be better than men, a woman's world. Why? I literally have no idea.

*shock horror* people; MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. THAT'S OK.

How annoying is it when you find someone exactly the same as you? I mean, yeah for the first week or so it can be great, but after that? Ridiculously irritating. Imagine every single time you wanted to eat pizza they did, every time you wanted to go shopping they did, every time you got an A on an essay they did, every time you started or ended a relationship they did. Nothing would be yours and nothing would be theirs, it would be so frustrating. You want differences in your relationships in general, in fact, you embrace them, so why can't we do the same with gender?

We've come leaps and bounds in terms of race equality, can we now do the same with gender? Please!  Yes, some of us have dark skin, light skin, straight hair, an afro, but no longer does that mean our pay cheques for the same job are different, or that one of us must serve the other. Yet, our genders still, apparently demand those differences.

I am woman so I can carry a child for nine months and then birth it, that doesn't mean that the child's father does not have the right to stay at home to care for the child while I work.

A man can sleep with whomever he chooses, whenever he wants and he is praised, if I do that as I woman I would be slut shame though I perfectly capable of doing so. Both of us are also always entitled to say no.

I am a woman and have been degraded for centuries so I deserve to be empowered, but a man is still a human, he deserves encouragement too. We shouldn't need international woman's day, every day should be international humans day.

 It sickens me that I have a driver's licence and received one with no opposition but if I were Saudi Arabian woman driving I would have gone through hell.
It hurts that I am free to marry whomever I choose but if I married a Christian, a man of my faith, in Sudan I could have given birth to my second child whilst in shackles.
It upsets me that if I became Chief Commissioner of the Met Police (life goals), it's highly unlikely I will receive the same wage as Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, and it will take me longer to get there as I will be penalised every time I need maternity leave.
It kills me that I'm going to have to teach my future children that no means no.

Sort it out people, please. So many want to take this journey to equality but we're not prepared to do it together, we need to though. Only together will our goal be achieved.