I've been trying to formally construct this post since last night, but it hasn't happened yet and I think it might be too much of a struggle to. Therefore, please bear with this stream of consciousness as I try to make sense of all of the things and ultimately have a point.
In case you missed it, the Olympics are currently occurring in Rio! Not just because I'm a fan of sport, I really rather enjoy the Olympics. I think they're a great set of events that can teach you a lot about different disciplines, make you wish you had made more of an effort in P.E., and really bring together so much of the world. It seems to me that there have been two main focuses of these particular Olympics; controversies such as doping, and love. The latter has been particularly shown through there having been at least five engagements that have taken place at these games. In a world so full of hate, angst and separation such a focus on love is of course welcome, appreciated, and rather lovely.
Having said this, the focus upon the engagement between phenomenal athletes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny got to me last night, and rather irritated me. I agree that mentioning it and suggesting that they're now the most successful Olympic couple EVER is a lovely point to state, and is damn fantastic. However, I felt last night that their relationship was as much a focus as Laura and Jason's individual skills as the phenomenal athletes they are, and that just didn't sit right with me. There's a time and a place for everything, I feel the amount their relationship was gone on about was too much for during a night of competition. They have a wedding day coming up, could it not be saved until then? I even said to myself, if they get divorced are their medals going to be taken away from them? No! Then why are we asking cycling experts about how worried Laura's going to be about Jason's fault starts, and not explaining to those watching at home the ins and outs of why the start was declared faulty in the first place?
It then struck me that my reaction to this was actually a projection of my own feelings. I'm a bit all over the place at the moment, even more than usual if you can believe it. Having just earned my degree I'm very much aware that the world is my oyster, I'm on the cusp of forever, and that is all very exciting. However, it's also absolutely terrifying and intimidating. I look back on my time at Keele and I see how much I've grown, but then I also see myself still making mistakes and needing to mature. Due to that, I think I've become very protective over what I've achieved and outright done well in an attempt to compensate for still making mistakes. For example, my degree is mine. I 110% accept and appreciate the help and support I received from friends, family, faculty and faith, but that certificate has my name on it because I achieved it, and the thought of that being taken away from me or being overshadowed by a relationship is rather scary right now. This is probably because I'm still too young and immature to be fully secure in my independence whilst being attached, but I'll learn I'm sure, I want to.
I said at the beginning I hoped I'd manage to make a point with this stream of consciousness, and to be honest I'm struggling with concluding this post. Perhaps that's the point though, this is all part of growing up and that is a continuous process that can't concluded really. I'm 22 years old and still very much trying to figure it all out and establish my own identity, which means of course mistakes are going to be made and insecurities had, but that's ok. I think I just need to chill out and have some patience, which is something I'm telling myself constantly. I feel I've definitely progressed from my time at Keele with a solid team from there and continued from home that seems to be willing to be there with me while we all figure it all out together, and that's fantastic, I could not be more grateful. And despite taking issue with when it seems individuals have been swallowed by their team, it is definitely better to have a team that not.
Thanks for making it through this post, it's much appreciated. I hope it made some sort of sense.
In case you missed it, the Olympics are currently occurring in Rio! Not just because I'm a fan of sport, I really rather enjoy the Olympics. I think they're a great set of events that can teach you a lot about different disciplines, make you wish you had made more of an effort in P.E., and really bring together so much of the world. It seems to me that there have been two main focuses of these particular Olympics; controversies such as doping, and love. The latter has been particularly shown through there having been at least five engagements that have taken place at these games. In a world so full of hate, angst and separation such a focus on love is of course welcome, appreciated, and rather lovely.
Having said this, the focus upon the engagement between phenomenal athletes Laura Trott and Jason Kenny got to me last night, and rather irritated me. I agree that mentioning it and suggesting that they're now the most successful Olympic couple EVER is a lovely point to state, and is damn fantastic. However, I felt last night that their relationship was as much a focus as Laura and Jason's individual skills as the phenomenal athletes they are, and that just didn't sit right with me. There's a time and a place for everything, I feel the amount their relationship was gone on about was too much for during a night of competition. They have a wedding day coming up, could it not be saved until then? I even said to myself, if they get divorced are their medals going to be taken away from them? No! Then why are we asking cycling experts about how worried Laura's going to be about Jason's fault starts, and not explaining to those watching at home the ins and outs of why the start was declared faulty in the first place?
It then struck me that my reaction to this was actually a projection of my own feelings. I'm a bit all over the place at the moment, even more than usual if you can believe it. Having just earned my degree I'm very much aware that the world is my oyster, I'm on the cusp of forever, and that is all very exciting. However, it's also absolutely terrifying and intimidating. I look back on my time at Keele and I see how much I've grown, but then I also see myself still making mistakes and needing to mature. Due to that, I think I've become very protective over what I've achieved and outright done well in an attempt to compensate for still making mistakes. For example, my degree is mine. I 110% accept and appreciate the help and support I received from friends, family, faculty and faith, but that certificate has my name on it because I achieved it, and the thought of that being taken away from me or being overshadowed by a relationship is rather scary right now. This is probably because I'm still too young and immature to be fully secure in my independence whilst being attached, but I'll learn I'm sure, I want to.
I said at the beginning I hoped I'd manage to make a point with this stream of consciousness, and to be honest I'm struggling with concluding this post. Perhaps that's the point though, this is all part of growing up and that is a continuous process that can't concluded really. I'm 22 years old and still very much trying to figure it all out and establish my own identity, which means of course mistakes are going to be made and insecurities had, but that's ok. I think I just need to chill out and have some patience, which is something I'm telling myself constantly. I feel I've definitely progressed from my time at Keele with a solid team from there and continued from home that seems to be willing to be there with me while we all figure it all out together, and that's fantastic, I could not be more grateful. And despite taking issue with when it seems individuals have been swallowed by their team, it is definitely better to have a team that not.
Thanks for making it through this post, it's much appreciated. I hope it made some sort of sense.
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